For many, Mother’s Day is a memorable holiday intended to honor and celebrate the mother figure in your life. However, some people don’t have a close relationship with their moms or grieving on the holiday. It may be difficult to navigate those challenging emotions or figure out something to do to fill up the time on that day. However, there are ways to acknowledge the holiday, even if you aren’t on the best terms with your mother. The first step is accepting the relationship with your mom may look different compared to friends, family, or colleagues who have tight bonds with their mothers.
Although it may be painful, learning to deal with tough emotions during triggering holidays can help ground you in the long run. It’s best to center your needs during the holiday and not guilt. If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to your mom or the mother figure in your life, as hard as that might be, then don’t, despite the feelings of obligation that may come up. Alternatively, suppose you have the urge to reach out but are struggling with an approach; it’s essential to process your feelings when it’s time to connect. In that case, you can do so in a way that’s productive and helpful to the relationship in an effort not to splinter the connection further.
However, it’s important to remind yourself that you don’t have to reach out, speak to, or even celebrate your mother on Mother’s Day if you don’t have a good relationship. Instead, you can spend time and honor yourself for being able to prioritize your wants, needs, and desires with people you’re in connection with. If Mother’s Day is a hard holiday for you, here are five ways to celebrate.
Get off social media.
Social media is traditionally where people share their highlights despite what may happen behind the scenes. Instead of scrolling on Instagram, take a break and sign off. Seeing happy mother-and-daughter duos on your feed may be triggering and could upend your healing process.
Text or call a loved one who isn’t a mother figure.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in people who aren’t in our lives that we forget about the individuals who are consistently there for us without question. Instead of ruminating on the relationship you don’t have with your mother, try reaching out to your favorite community member via phone or, better yet, in person. Perhaps that person can help uplift your spirits or could serve as a sounding board to vent to. Talking to trusted people can help you get through difficult moments.
Reflect and journal.
As much as we don’t like acknowledging rough emotions, it’s important to face them head-on to heal and move forward. Rather than burying your feelings, sit with them to recognize your pain by journaling them out. If journaling doesn’t work for you, try recording a voice note with all your fears and hopes. Remember, at times, the only way is through.
Take yourself out.
Treat yourself to a self-care day; that’s just for you. Whether that looks like a spa day (which is always good), or a solo dinner date, you should curate the day to make you happy and to bring you joy. Don’t hold back on celebrating you on a tough day.
Don’t do anything at all.
It’s perfectly fine to treat Mother’s Day like any other day of the week. You don’t have to pressure yourself to celebrate the holiday if it only makes you sad, regretful or transports you to traumatic memories. Instead, protect your peace, continue your Sunday as usual, and spend the day as you see fit.