"This kiss felt different. This conversation felt different. This man felt different."
In a world that often seems so easily filled with hate, one thing that always seems to shine through at the right time is love. And in a world that often seems so easily filled with hate towards Black people, one thing that we definitely need to see more of is Black love. That’s why I was over the moon when I saw OWN was premiering a new docuseries, ‘Black Love Doc,’ that focused on the amazing love stories in the Black community that more often than not get overlooked.
Part one of the documentary focused on how love begins, with the couples, including series creators and newlyweds Thomas and Codie Elaine Oliver, sharing their stories. From brothas in Birkenstocks on a budget movie set to chance meetings in the city streets, each story was touching an unique. What I loved the most was the detail in which, in some cases decades later, each couple was able to recall the moment their love story began.
It got me to thinking…when did my own story begin? What story would I (hopefully) tell my children years from now?
First let me say I’m not married, but what love story starts at the altar anyway, right? As I sat in my apartment trying to recall how my relationship started, I cracked up laughing, because the beginnings of this tale started in true millennial fashion…in the DMs. Here’s how my love began.
Thanks to Facebook, I actually knew of my bae before we started dating. We have mutual friends, are in the same groups, etc. We actually said ‘hello’ to each other in passing at a mutual friend’s birthday brunch, complete with a group photo, at least a year before we ever actually had a real conversation. We also have a common professional interest, hotels. So it was no surprise when someone told him to contact me about a potential business opportunity. We had a brief chat in the DM, but nothing came of it. Fast forward a year or so later and out of the blue one night I get a DM from a familiar face.
We exchanged initial pleasantries, but as the conversation progressed, I quickly began to suspect that he didn’t realize who he was talking to. After pointing it out, he quickly realized it too. So who did he think he was talking to you ask? The hotel clerk he had slipped his number to earlier. See he was in Mexico on business and had planned to slay and lay the cute clerk, but a few tequila shots had caused him to click on my messenger profile instead of hers. But in true Sagittarius fashion he decided to turn what could’ve been an L (I personally found it hilarious) into a win. He asked why we weren’t Facebook friends and the conversation went from there, with us catching up on what we’ve both been up to. And from there it was on.
We went through the normal getting to know you struggle, texting versus calling, with him preferring the former and me all but demanding the latter. We went through several false starts on arranging our first date and even him trying to say I was being clingy for demanding he actually call me from time to time (my side-eye game was so real on this). But after a tongue lashing from his bestie, who was a mutual friend, he finally got his life together and set up our first date for the day after Christmas.
The first thing I noticed was that he was early, earlier than me actually and I always show up before dates so I can be perched and pretty when they arrive. I also noticed that he was taller than I thought, because for some reason I just knew he was only 5’9 (He’s actually 6 feet). The spot he picked was one I had never been to and was unique because it looked like a random bar in the front, but had a ‘hidden’ room in the back with nice art on the wall and a fireplace. So far, he was winning. I hadn’t been on a date in FOREVER, so I was rusty, dusty and nervous, and it showed. He on the other hand was that level of cocky that has you trying to figure out whether you want to slap him or do some things Jesus and granny would not approve of. We ordered drinks and discussed the normal first date topics, when he decided to inform me of a little random fact about himself that was so not safe for work, or first date appropriate. But it didn’t bother me at all, I actually found it hysterical, and a bit of a turn on, but that’s another post lol.
I of course was rambling, even though I didn’t think I was, so he decided to break all those first date ‘rules’ and kiss me. Now even though I immediately realized this kiss was meant to shut me up (he’s so shady, smh), what it actually did was create a spark, for me anyway. In that moment I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Something about this date felt different. This kiss felt different. This conversation felt different. This man felt different. I didn’t know what it was exactly. I wasn’t in love or anything, but after countless boring talks and dates with other people over the years, something about being in that moment with him just felt refreshing. He was 100% unapologetic about who he was and what he did. He didn’t try to play smooth and romantic with our kiss, he straight up told me that I was running my mouth. He wasn’t trying to impress me and was just being himself. And something about that made me feel comfy being my rambling, goofy self too.
At the end of the date, we did what New Yorkers do. We walked to the corner, asked where the other was going (naturally it was in opposite directions because…New York) and he asked if I needed a cab. I didn’t so he said goodbye with a kiss on my cheek and hollered “Text me when you get home” as he hurried off to meet friends. It was the beginning of something.
What that something was, neither one of us knew or really put much thought into. But something was blooming from our semi ratchet DM hookup and one thing was for certain, it was going to be one hell of an interesting ride.
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