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Home • Valentine's Day

Dear Men: What Women Really Want for Valentine's Day (And What We Don't!)

A man’s definition of “romantic” can sometimes feel miles away from what a woman really wants. This Valentine’s Day, the ESSENCE Editors are schooling the fellas to help get everyone on the same page!
By ESSENCE Editors · Updated October 27, 2020
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01
Fellas, Listen Up!

A man’s definition of “romantic” can sometimes feel miles away from what a woman really wants. This Valentine’s Day, we’re schooling the fellas to get everyone on the same page!

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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02
Don’t Be Cliché

DON’T buy me lingerie. (No thanks!) But if you must, make sure it looks like Cookie’s from Empire. – Yolanda Sangweni, Entertainment Editor

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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03
Remember The Times

DO recreate a magical moment from our relationship resumé. Take me back to the intimate movie theater we fell in love in or recreate our best trip yet. Women love a romantic trip down memory lane. – Charli Penn, Relationships Editor

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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04
Come Up With Your Own Plan

DON’T just pick something. Taking me to “Valentine’s Night” at the local chain restaurant is too easy — the staff did all of the work. It says you put very little thought into what would actually make me the happiest and that I’m going to have the same exact experience as 150 other women that night. Boo! — C.P.

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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05
Move Your Body

DO move your body. A dance routine always puts a smile on my face. A reenactment of that “Can You Stand the Rain” scene from The Best Man Holiday is my dream Valentine gift! — Charreah K. Jackson, Relationships Editor

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
06
Do You

DON’t try to be Christian Grey if you are really more of a Clark Kent type. Play to your strengths and be your own brand of sexy. –– C.J.

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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07
Spend Wisely!

DON’T spend big bucks on something for Valentine’s Day that I’ll never (ever!) use again. — Brahaani Mamo, Social Media Manager

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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08
Think Ahead

DO buy a thoughtful gift that will still be relevant after the day is long gone. — B.M.

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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09
Be Clever

DO have a few tricks up your sleeve, please. Surprise me with a cute little note when I wake up or a package of my favorite candy tucked away in my purse. Who knows? We might have a few surprises of our own coming your way. — Taylor Lewis, Editorial Assistant

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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10
Don’t Overthink It

DON’T underestimate the value of a low-key night in. A movie, some Chinese takeout and some cuddling can be just as romantic as an elaborate night out. Just plan it with a little TLC. – T.L

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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11
Skip The Flower Delivery At Work

DON’T send me a dozen roses. Roses are cute and lilies are nice, but after a week in a vase, they just become dead roots and dried up leaves sitting in stinky old water. Don’t waste your money on a dozen roses that will only become a thorny eye-sore on my desk. — Jolie A. Doggett, Editorial Intern

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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12
Food Can Be A Win

DO send me a pizza! Seriously, the way to my heart is through my stomach. Show up to my house with a pizza box, french fries and a bottle of wine. We’ll share a slice and a Valentine’s Day you’ll never forget. If you feed me, I’ll love you forever. — J.D.

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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13
Get Creative

DO be creative. Handmade gifts go a long way. — Deena Campbell, Beauty Editor

Dear Men: What Women Really Want For Valentine's Day
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