No matter what your current relationship is with your father, you can show him love -- here's how.
No matter what your current relationship is with your father, you can show him love — here’s how.
First make sure there’s nothing keeping your father out of your life. If family members have blocked access, claim your power to know the story of your lineage. And if he has passed on, ask family members and friends to talk
about their memories.
If you’ve established that it is your father’s choice not to be in your life, let go of your guilt and the pain. It’s his loss for not understanding how special this relationship could be. While no one can replace your biological father, others can fill much of that void: An uncle, an older family friend or a mentor can all be father figures. Don’t pine for a man whose shortcomings have kept him out of your life. Release your remorse, find a substitute and soar.
Be the bigger person and try to mend your bond. Often a less-than-stellar relationship between a father and daughter is less about their interaction than it is about the disappointment he feels or she feels in him not being able to live up to expectations, especially for a father who wants to be the knight in shining armor for his “little girl.” Realize he is often doing the best he knows how. Seek to listen to understand his story, even if you don’t agree with his decisions. Don’t let your pride keep you from trying to repair what may seem a lost cause.
Whatever your age, from time to time, allow him to be Daddy. Let him take care of you and feel like that special man in your life. If you do that, he’ll always feel unique, like he did the first time he saw you, and you’ll always know you have that soft, safe place in your father’s arms. You will have other men in your life (Dad will learn to live with that), but that special feeling the two of you share will never be duplicated. Don’t take the nature of your relationship for granted; you’re blessed to have a man who will give you a lifetime of love.
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