I’ve practiced taking myself on solo dates at least two or three times a month without celebrating a special occasion or holiday, like Valentine’s Day. After a trying week, I usually pull up to a bar with my journal, earphones, and a magazine to enjoy wine.
As an only child, I usually feel very comfortable recharging and spending time alone to acknowledge my mental and emotional states. Solo dates help me to reflect on the next steps I need to take on my life’s journey.
Interestingly enough, solo dates aren’t as popular as I thought. Many people are afraid of spending time alone in public. While some may have monophobia, the fear of being alone or in public spaces alone, others are concerned with the perception of singleness – engulfed in the shame of not having a partner, especially on Valentine’s Day.
However, going on a solo date can be empowering, ultimately strengthening your self-esteem, independence, confidence, and relationship with yourself, which is the most important one in your life.
Partner or not, dating yourself provides insight into what you enjoy, helps you develop your values, identifies personality traits you may want to hone, and allows you to discover things you can do without. Before you venture out into the dating arena, you should cultivate a solid and intimate relationship with yourself, so you’ll know what you may need and want from a significant other. That newfound confidence and self-assurance will allow you to advocate for your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical needs in future relationships, platonic and romantic.
Remember, being alone in public isn’t embarrassing; instead, it’s daring and serves as an act of rebellion against societal norms and pressures telling us that you should be around people 24/7 or tethered to a partner. In fact, you can schedule monthly solo dates for yourself and still actively show up in a romantic relationship.
We curated a list of ESSENCE-approved solo date ideas so that you can show yourself love on Valentine’s Day and every day.
What better way to show love to your imaginative side than by getting inspired by art and culture? Place a museum date on your calendar to get your creativity flowing.
From surfing to Pilates, try something new to get your heart rate pumping while experiencing something different simultaneously.
Put your cooking skills to the test with a private or group cooking class. You’ll learn new recipes, flex your culinary muscles, and make a delicious meal.
Listen to your favorite artist and songs and catch a vibe. Going to a concert by yourself allows you to see the acts you want to, when you want to, and sing and dance along like no one is watching.
Flowers are always a good idea. Why not learn to prepare a beautiful floral arrangement for yourself? Don’t wait on anyone to give you your roses.
