Women Share Their Worst Dates

Bad Dates
ESSENCE.COM Oct, 03, 2008

1 of 15

“On one date, the guy suggested we go for dinner. When the waitress came with the bill, he gave her his credit card and then said to me, ‘It probably won’t work because it’s expired.’ He told me that he had a new card but hadn’t activated it yet. Right. Mind you, I’d already told him that I had just gotten laid off and was living off of unemployment and savings. The only alternative he suggested was to go back to his job ten blocks away and ask his coworkers for some petty cash. When the waitress came back and told us his card had been declined, I was thoroughly embarrassed. I paid for the meal and made that the end of the evening—and the end of us dating.”

2 of 15

“I saw this guy in the music industry whenever he was in town. After two years of occasionally hanging out, he invited me to see him in California. I was so excited! When I got off the plane, he had a limo waiting for me to take me to his mansion. After some reuniting, we went to dinner. Holding hands, we walked into a tuxedo shop, where he told the owner he was getting fitted because he was getting married. A million thoughts went running through my head. But when the owner congratulated us, my date said, ‘Oh, I’m not marrying her.’ We were still holding hands! In the car, he acted like nothing had happened. What’s worse: Back at the house, he had a message waiting for him from his fiancée saying she was coming home early from her trip.”

3 of 15

“On a night out with my girls, I met a nice guy at the club. He seemed like the perfect gentleman: buying me drinks and dancing with me all night. He was a little rough around the edges, but it made him even sexier to me. We exchanged numbers and talked on the phone for a week before arranging to meet again in person. After a few oversize margaritas at a restaurant, it seemed like we were really hitting it off. But something changed when the bill came. My date excused himself to the restroom. I didn’t get alarmed until 20 minutes or more had passed. I even went to look for him, and called his cell phone, which was turned off. He’d slipped out the door, leaving me to pay the tab! I haven’t heard from him since, but if I ever run into him, he owes me an explanation and $20 bucks.”

4 of 15

“A guy who worked at a drugstore photo department called me to pick up my pictures and asked me out. Thinking it was the fly dude I remembered when I dropped them off, I agreed to go out with him. Sadly, I was mistaken. When I went to pick him up—yes, he had no car—I realized it was another guy who was, well, less gifted in the looks department. I told him I thought he was someone else, but we still went to the movies, and he didn’t even buy the popcorn. I drove him home after the movie and that was the end of that. Or so I thought. He used my number one more time after that. But this time it was a collect call from jail! Needless to say, I didn’t accept the charges.”

5 of 15

“I finally broke down and went on a date with a younger guy. It’s against my policy, but he was persistent. So we went out for what was supposed to be a romantic evening at the Olive Garden. The waitress came over to ask for our drink order and I ordered an ice tea. When the time came for him to order, he asked the waitress if they had Kool-Aid. Luckily, I didn’t have that big wooden spoon my mother used to make it with, because I probably would have clocked him upside the head with it. Instead, I just looked around to see if anyone I knew was there to hear it.”

6 of 15

“A blind date took me to a basketball game and bragged about his new Cadillac with the ‘off-the-hook’ rims the whole time. Unfortunately, on the way home, his tricked-out car got a flat tire. He called AAA, but they told him they couldn’t come out for another hour and a half. Well, I just couldn’t take another minute with this dude—in addition to his boasting, he was also very touchy-feely with me during the game—so I offered to change the tire myself. Yes, I got down on all fours, in my heels and my favorite pair of designer jeans, and changed his funky tire. Meanwhile, he just stood over me crying about how his rims got messed up in the process.”

7 of 15

“I met a guy online and, after talking to him a few times on the phone, we seemed to really click. We decided to meet for drinks and appetizers at my favorite restaurant. But when I finally saw brotherman in real life, he was nothing like his online profile. He was much shorter than me. Not to mention the fact that he came on the date wearing a football sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers. To top it off, his values were from the Stone Age. I was trying to play it cool, but when he started preaching about ‘a woman’s place’ and reciting scriptures from the Bible, I knew I had to call it a wrap. I told him I wasn’t feeling well. I think he knew that was just an excuse, but after having to endure his sermon on subordination, I didn’t care.”

8 of 15

“When I went to meet my date at the movies, I was greeted by him—and his baby mama and their six-month-old son. As he had previously told me that he was no longer involved with his child’s mother, I was flabbergasted. He introduced me as his sorority sister who had recently moved to D.C. I was desperately trying to maintain my composure at this point, because I really wanted to see the movie. (It was “Dreamgirls.”) But he didn’t even pay for my ticket, and he had the nerve to ask me to pay for his. What would make him think I would put up with this three-way dating system? After the movie, I told him I had to go to the bathroom and never returned.”

9 of 15

“Back in the day, I brought a guy I’d been dating to a taping of ‘The Cosby Show.’ As we were watching the show, my date excused himself to go to the rest room. Then, about every twenty minutes he would get up to go to the rest room. I asked him if he was sick or something. To my shock, he said that he had been pleasuring himself. I was mortified, but as a 20-year-old, I just rolled with it. After the taping, he and I went to his friend’s apartment to find him and his roommate sitting on the sofa watching porn. That was the final straw for me. I turned around and walked out of the apartment and away from the madness.”

10 of 15

“I went on a date with a friend of my family. He showed up at my door in a limo to take me out for dinner and a scenic drive along the water. On our way to the restaurant, he noticed a friend outside a nearby White Castle and got out of the limo to say hello. The next thing I knew, the cops rolled up and he disappeared! The driver and I had a very silent ride back to my place. About three hours later, homeboy called me, but since I’ve accepted my call to the ministry, I cannot repeat what I said to him. Needless to say, we never spoke again.”

11 of 15

“I went on a first date to the movies with a guy who invited other people out with us—one of them being a guy I was also friends with. I was playing it cool, until the lights went off in the theater and the movie began. My date, who was sitting to my left, put his arms around me and started to caress my shoulder. Then, our mutual friend, who was sitting on my right, had the nerve to ever-so-subtly put his hand on my leg and start to creep it up my thigh. I couldn’t believe my friend was trying to feel me up! I kept moving his hand, but it kept finding its way back on me again. After turning down an invite for dinner after the movie, I ended the night. I never went on a date with that guy again, and our mutual ‘friend’ immediately became an acquaintance.”

12 of 15

“My coworker set me up with a friend of a friend, who she described as cool and cute. He drove up to my place wearing a blue leather jumpsuit and riding a tricked-out motorcycle. When he took off his helmet, all I could see was his slicked-back conk, which was bright orange and pulled back in a pinky-size ponytail! I wasn’t getting on his bike to go to the movie theater, so we took the train—where everyone was staring at us. The entire way there, he was telling me crazy sex jokes, including one about a little person and some ice cream. And what movie did this cornball take me to? Pootie Tang. He was laughing so hard, folks started turning around to stare. I slid down in my chair, when I smelled a foul odor: He was sweating in this leather outfit. I just couldn’t take it. I went to the bathroom and never came back.”

13 of 15

“I was at this Italian restaurant I love, with someone I thought was a nice guy. When I suggested we split a large-portion entrée, he said, ‘No, ’cause I can eat!’ Then he proceeded to order an entrée, appetizers and even a pitcher of sangria. By the end of the meal, brotherman had wiped his plate; but when the check came, he didn’t make a move. ‘I thought you were going to pay,’ he said—and then proceeded to tell me with much attitude that I should pony up because I just brought a pair of shoes, I grew up on Long Island, I drive a convertible, and my parents probably give me everything. I offered to pay half of the $80 bill and asked him to take me home.”

14 of 15

“While doing laundry one day, in walks the man of my dreams: tall, good-looking, college-educated, employed, over 30 and no kids. We exchanged numbers and started having brunch together every weekend. He even took me along house hunting. One night he invited me over for dinner, with candles and fried catfish—a Southern girl’s dream! Someone kept calling him on the phone as we cuddled, and I knew something wasn’t right. Then he admitted he had a visitor downstairs and it was a woman. I prepared to leave, and when he opened the door, his ex was standing there: bad weave, neck snapping, bright-blue eye shadow and all. As I left the shouting match behind me was just getting started.”

15 of 15

“This guy kept bugging me to go out with him, so I decided to take a chance. Even though ‘floods’ were way out of style, homeboy tried to rock them like they were the new Rocawear. And his hair was so greasy, I could have fried catfish on his head. He took me to this hole-in-the-wall that was so nasty, the roaches pulled out my chair! Then, I realized he was too cheap for a cab ride home because, instead, he tried to take me on a romantic walk down the Hudson River. But it was raining. I ruined my good wig in the downpour and wound up calling my own cab to get home. He had the nerve to jump in—and get salty when I asked him to pay the tip.”