Where The Black Men Are

Where The Black Men Are
ESSENCE.COM Dec, 08, 2008

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Grab a buddy or make the solo trek to the slopes! Women swear by the annual Black Ski Summit held in Aspen, Colorado, as a fun place to meet professional brothers who are open to adventurous sports. Why not offer to buy a cutie a cup of hot cocoa while you’re there to get a conversation started?

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Try going for a run in your neighborhood park on a Saturday morning. Running in a park is a great way to meet guys, because most men who are fitness fanatics like to get their run on outdoors. You might spot a few walking their dogs too.

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Men are intimidated by groups of women. They usually only approach you when you’re by yourself. Don’t completely stop hanging out with your girls, but make sure you do things you love by yourself too. We guarantee you’ll meet a guy every time you’re alone at the movies, a lounge, a restaurant, networking events, stores or simply walking around.

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My place for meeting the best guys has not been a physical place necessarily. I find the best guys when I somehow connect with people of my past (childhood, school years, etc.). They have gone through the courses of life and have matured like I have. They are very relatable. They just seem to pop up in my life. Sometimes we make contact by running into people who’ve kept up with either party.

Adrian, 38, Rancho Cucamonga, California

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Any line: at the ATM, a fast-food restaurant, while purchasing movie tickets. They are waiting. You can help them pass the time better.

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Ladies, try getting the back of your Rihanna-esque do tightened up at the local barbershop instead of the salon this Saturday. Not an option? Then take your nephew or godson to their barber for a fresh cut. You’re guaranteed to make a male acquaintance or two.

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You can always find a cutie folding a sweater at your local Gap or Macy’s. Talk to him and you may find out working retail is his side hustle while he pays for law school or saves up for a house.

Nichole, 22, Washington, D.C.

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The Super Bowl (football) and All-Star Weekend (basketball) extravaganzas always draw huge crowds and plenty of men. Both events are jam-packed with single fellas at parties, concerts, oh and yeah… games. Even regional conferences like the Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association (CIAA), which profile the top basketball players of select HBCUs, are worth a try for a weekend of hanging out, watching some hoops and snagging a date.

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Let’s face it: it’s impossible to meet all the men in the world. But why not have a good number of them sitting on your lap(top) by signing up for an online dating service? Get rid of any reservations you may have about finding guys on the Web because sites such as Match.com and eharmony.com have proven successful for many couples around the country. You might meet the man of your dreams and you won’t even have to leave the comfort of your own home (at least not at first).

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The grocery store has a lot to choose from and it doesn’t have to end at the merchandise. Sneak up on the cutie in the produce section and give him your tips on how to make your infamous five-spice chicken salad. You may be cooking a spicy dinner for two.

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The bookstore can be full of inquiring minds. Spark up a conversation with the gentleman holding the new historical fiction best-seller for some stimulating conversation and invite him to your next book club meeting or start one of your own.

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After you’ve bowed your head and prayed for God to bless you with a mate, take a look around the church. Nowadays, some churches have single ministries, so mingle while you get your praise on.

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Instead of sitting alone, find a seat next to the man you’ve been eyeing since he entered the train station. There’s nothing wrong with casual conversation to make your commute fly by.

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Just because your best gal pal is getting hitched, doesn’t mean you have to be left out in the cold. Between the groomsmen, friendly cousins and college frat brothers, you are bound to find a single man before you even get to the reception.

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You love Maxwell as much as the next guy, and that guy could be sitting in your row at the crooner’s next show. It’s great to meet someone who shares the same musical tastes as you, and who knows, “Fortunate” could be your wedding song.

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“Airport bars are always cool for great conversations with men. There’s no pressure to impress because unless you hit it off, you won’t have to see this person again. I like to find a spot where a good football or basketball game is on, call my girls and meet up for some ‘jocktails.’ " —Tikiya, 30, Los Angeles

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“Salsa dancing is a great way to meet men, plus you can find out if they’re good dancers.” —Heidi, 41, Boston

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“All kinds of wonderful men are at Home Depot—from strong construction workers to those adding finishing touches to their new homes. These guys are not living with moms.” —Tiffany, 33, Chicago

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“Guys aren’t in mack mode when you’re working out with them. At the gym I can see what a man’s character is like because I’m interacting with him over and over. And I like looking at the hard bodies.” —Nikki, 28, Washington, D.C.

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“When I’m at the pump and notice a gentleman with a unique car, I’ll ask him about it. One time after a man explained all the amenities of his Charger, he asked me to go for a ride and then have drinks. I did.” —Niecy, 30, St. Louis

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“Alumni associations are a no-stress way to get reacquainted with old faces and those guys you didn’t know while you were in school.” —Michelle, 33, Atlanta

Check out these hilarious stories about dating nightmares »

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As a female entrepreneur who attends many business, marketing, real estate investing and Internet marketing events both locally and nationwide, I do meet really smart and attractive Black men who are also entrepreneurs and who have a prosperity mindset. These events are definitely worth attending because of the caliber of men they attract!

Marlene, 40, Jersey City, New Jersey

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There are usually nice men at the car wash. I am attracted to a man who likes to take care of his assets; even though a car is a depreciating asset, it’s still an asset. I usually look a mess when I go, as I tend to go once a week on my way to the hair salon, but it doesn’t stop me from striking up a nice conversation.

Andrea, age 40, Brooklyn

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Hey, it worked for Nina in “Love Jones,” right? Go online and find out where the hot spot for poetry readings is in your town. While soaking up a little culture, you just might stumble upon a Darius of your own.

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These gatherings are filled with men—who went to college. Plus, frat conferences are typically held in exciting metropolitan cities that are fun for weekend getaways, so make a little vacation out of your trip.