Modern Ways to Date

Modern Ways to Date
ESSENCE.COM Jul, 23, 2012

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Did you know over 50 percent of singles in the U.S. have not been on one date within the last two years? So, what’s a single man or woman to do to keep their private life interesting? They have two options: Sit around and wait for “The One” to miraculously find you, or get off the couch and change your story now. It’s your call. If you want help, the Modern Day Matchmaker has it. Here are nine easy (and highly recommended) ways to help you meet new people this summer.

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This is a simple concept that is not done as often as it should be. The idea here is to invite a group of your friends to invite one person (the plus one) to a gathering. This is a quick way of expanding the people you know, and there is a strong likelihood that you and one of those guests will share values since he is a friends of your friends.

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I predict we’ll see more and more of these type of events over the years to come. Just google “single cruises and destination trips” and you’ll get 1,000s of possibilities. What’s great is no matter how particular your interest (ex: vegan cruise for millionaires who listen to neo-soul), there is a cruise or trip for you!

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Expanding your social circle is the single best method to increase your chances of meeting a significant other. Participating in gatherings and activities based on interest is something I recommend to all of my clients. My favorite site for facilitating group meet-ups is

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For many, this is old news. Meanwhile for others, social media sites are still unchartered territory. I’ve personally witnessed several people successfully meet (and marry) new dating prospects via Facebook, Twitter and Yelp…yup!

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These are spreading like wildfire too. Chances are you may have heard of ‘It’s Just Lunch’ or ‘Table for Six.’ The great advantage to this method is the low stress of having someone do the work for you. I’ve known people who have been successful using these services but you must be patient. With “brick and mortar” dating services, you typically have to meet a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

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One of my favorite categories! I’m a firm believer in Matchmakers (or I would not have become one). The industry is the second oldest in the world (right behind prostitution) and therefore there is a lot of variation. Unfortunately, there is no governing body over the industry and therefore many shysters exist. That said, there are also many phenomenal matchmaking talents. If I can help you or steer you in the direction of a matchmaker, please contact me (see last slide for my contact info).

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Nearly 50 percent of all singles in the U.S. have tried online dating. Gone are the days when it was just computer nerds and serial killers using these sites. Online dating is finally mainstream. The evolution of dating sites has resulted in 1,000s of niche dating variations coming to life. One of my favorites is, where you suggest the type of date you’d like to go on and that’s how you’re matched. (Good stuff!)

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Believe it or not, speed dating was just invented in 1998. It initially became a raging sensation in the late ‘90s, and then subsequently died down. And now, its popularity is back! Several people (including myself) have created variations of the popular (and effective) activity. My spin is spin called flow dating.

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Coaches can be distinguished from Matchmakers primarily by the fact they don’t match directly, rather they advise and direct. I have a team of coaches and have witnessed how powerful coaching can be. A matter of fact, a coaching client of mine was married this past weekend!