Modern Day Matchmaker: What Oprah Taught Me About Love

Paul Carrick Brunson shares the gems that he picked up while working side-by-side with Lady O.

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To say it is an honor to work for Oprah is an understatement. My responsibility as her first Ambassador of Love is one I do not take lightly. My mission in this role is simple; to spread love. While working with Oprah on our current show Lovetown, USA (airing Sunday nights 10/9c p.m. on OWN), I was given a firsthand lesson in love by the Queen of talk herself. These are my notes.

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This is one message Oprah harped on. If you want love, you first must be love. It doesn’t happen any other way.

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This is a concept I heavily debated in my mind for years, but have now become a strong believer in. Watch this video of me at my office in Lovetown explaining why.

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“The best things in life come unexpectedly” is a phrase frequently used. When it comes to love, this is not far from the truth. Love has no “on switch” and is often developed when we are least focused on it.

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What often prevents us from ever believing in love is fear. Fear of having our hearts broken or breaking the hearts of others. The key to getting over fear (of any kind) is to understand what we can control and what we can’t, and then to surrender. This means surrendering to a higher belief, knowing we can’t seek power over what we’re powerless to control. 

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We often refer to love in a purely romantic context, but it’s important to know it comes in many forms. Love is also grace. Love is also compassion. Love is also forgiveness.

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Oprah mentioned that there is one question that everyone she has interviewed has asked: "Was I alright?” In essence, everyone wanted a confirmation that their words or presence mattered. Ultimately, this is a very human characteristic — to know our presence is valued; to know we are loved.

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Limiting love for someone based on a certain characteristic (like race, age, religion, etc.) is to devalue the power of it. Love is blind and we should never forget that.

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Let's continue the conversation about love. You can find me on Twitter or Facebook any time. Want more tricks and tips you can use? My new book, It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be) A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love, is available online and in stores now!

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