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A cool venue, good music, and an opportunity to check out his rhythm… The club sounds like the ideal spot for a first date. Not! Clubs are fraught with trouble: loud music you have to scream over and no experiential learning other than getting an inkling on how he will move between the sheets. Clubs are bad first-date ideas.
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I’m not against friends meeting up with your date prior and/or after a first date (as a matter of fact, this is a good strategy to keep dates on schedule and safe) — but having friends present throughout the entire first date affords less opportunity for one-on-one communication.
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A good first-date idea is one that allows both people to feel included, and it’s best when you both share a new experience. Homecomings are trips back in time — re-living strolling the yard, reconnecting with friends you haven’t seen in years, and showing off that new outfit. None of this allows a date to truly participate at a level worthy of their time.
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On a first date, no matter how much you “connected,” the bottom line is you still don’t know each other. Therefore, spending the night is unsafe and statistically the best way not to get a second date. Here are some other words to describe what I think of an overnight first date: asinine, brainless, dimwitted, doltish, dumb, foolish, half-baked, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, irresponsible, ludicrous, mindless, nonsensical, pointless, senseless, unintelligent, chancy, erratic, hazardous, perilous, precarious, risky, shaky, slippery, and treacherous. I think I made my opinion clear.
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Umm, let’s see. How in the world are you going to get to know someone by sitting next to him, without talking, for two hours in the dark? Save this for later in the relationship.
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This is basically a scripted interrogation. In order to truly get to know someone, you have to observe what they do. Dinner affords little opportunity for qualitative observation, and with this being the standard go-to date for most, many have their first dinner date game memorized.
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Outside of this being the most unsafe idea on the planet, it also shows a complete lack of creativity. If you’re ever invited to someone’s house — or if they are bold enough to invite their lazy butt to your home — on the first date, hit block on Facebook, delete their number and don’t waste any more of your time with them.
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I recall when one client told me her date took her to his family reunion and everyone asked when they were getting married. (#fail) No reunions, cousin’s cookouts, visits to Big Mama’s house, and Lord, please, no funerals. Yes, I’ve heard of first dates happening here.
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Plug in what I wrote about dinner and add the fact that you are tossing back Moscato. Not a good look.
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A first date is way too early to bring children into the picture. It’s not healthy for kids to be introduced to first dates.
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