Make Your Move

Make Your Move
ESSENCE.COM Jul, 01, 2009

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Ladies, the verdict is in, and men love a woman who makes the first move. This weekend, whether you’re at the ESSENCE Music Festival in New Orleans or at a backyard BBQ, take control of your love life. Here are a few tips to seal the deal, with the help of relationship expert and radio host LaDawnn Black.

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“Making the first move doesn’t have to be a grand act,” Black says.

Start by catching the guy’s eye and flashing a smile. If he’s looking elsewhere, feel free to have the waitress send over another of what he’s drinking. if you’re really bold, grab two of your favorite concoctions and walk on over.

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Not ready to buy him a drink? Take away the stress of approaching a guy by bringing a buddy along, suggests Black. Allow her to start the convo with the guy’s friend. That leaves you free to rescue the cutie from feeling left out.

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Everyone loves a compliment on their clothes or style, and showing that you’re paying attention goes far. Comment on the night’s activities, especially if there are performances or it’s a reoccurring event.

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Yes, there’s a chance the guy you approach declines. When that happens, remember you haven’t lost a single thing and the next guy is a fresh start. Avoid wondering “what if” later and take a chance on finding love.

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See your dream guy and aren’t sure if the women next to him is his sister or someone special? When she walks away, swing by, advises Black. Say hello, make small talk and ask nonchalantly if his wife is coming back. Generally a person will correct you if they are just friends and you will have clarity without being too forward.

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Using your friends to break the ice is great. To see if the chemistry is real, ask your guy to accompany you to refresh your drink or to check out the piece of art you noticed coming in, so you can talk alone. Guys also are more inclined to approach you when you go off on your own than with a group of women.

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Now that you’ve started the conversation, make the distinction that your presence is more than being friendly. It’s perfectly fine to ask for his number.

“Sometimes we’re coy and that doesn’t get us what we want. Make it clear you want to see him again,” Black asserts.

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If you’re not ready to ask for the digits, you can make an informal date to meet up at another event, Black suggests. Let him know you and your friends plan to be at a certain lounge tomorrow or that you roller skate in the park on weekends.

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We’re proactive in every other area of life, so why not in love? Make your move this weekend and remember, brothers appreciate the approach and aren’t intimidated.

Look for LaDawn Black’s first novel, “Tease,” coming this August.

Have you made the first approach or are you ready to give it a try? Share your story below

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