How To: Spring Clean Your Love Life

Say goodbye to a messy love life and hello to happier endings. Whether you're single, dating or married, we've got tips you can use!

Charli Penn May, 20, 2014

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As the weather begins to heat up, your dating pool will too. Summertime flings and flirting aren't uncommon, but they can be a problem if your head isn't on straight before things begin. Take a moment to really think about how you want to move forward with dating this summer: What are your rules? Deal breakers? Intentions? Having a clear plan will keep your love life tidy, not messy, this summer season.

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Say “no” to keeping in touch with bad news ex boyfriends (or former bad dates) by making a conscious effort to delete all traces of them from your phone and email while you’re feeling strong. Like, right now. Go! This summer should be all about starting fresh relationships, so out with the old so you can make room for something new.

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Operation “Feel Your Sexiest Ever” begins right now. Throw out those old panties and bras and refresh your collection. Treat yourself to a pampered day at the spa and start making good on all those promises you made to eat right and work out more. Sexiness equals instant confidence and you want to be loaded with that when you’re entertaining potential suitors. You’ll both love the way your newfound confidence boast feels on you and he’ll love how it looks. Get ready to make an amazing first impression.

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Refresh and renew your bedroom vibes to welcome newer and more exciting experiences. Start with a new comforter set, fresh linens and strategically placed fresh flowers and sensual scents throughout the room. It’s an instant romantic upgrade.

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Bad feelings should never fester when love is at stake. If your partner’s recent behavior hasn’t made you happy or there’s something weighing heavily on your heart, it’s time to ‘fess up and come clean. Make plans to spend some time together in a place you both feel safe. Start the conversation and remember that honesty counts for a lot and you’re never going to get over something you can’t even discuss.

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It's time to sit down together and do a joint good and bad date inventory. When was the last time you had an amazing and unforgettable time together? Do you recall your last epic date fail? What went wrong? How can you date smarter not harder the next time you can sneak in a moment for two? If you don’t access your dating health, you could easily find yourselves in a dating rut that’s hard to get out of. When you have time together, figure out how to make it count.

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Getting your home in order helps you find more moments to steal for each other instead of wasting them in a constant cleaning and cooking cycle. Make a plan to take on your chores and household responsibilities that you can both stick to. Focus on getting a head start on what you waste the most time on in the evenings and on weekends. Can you prepare more than one dinner at night? Can you clean faster together on a Thursday night so you can sleep in on Saturday? Intrigued, aren't you? Try it!

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Don’t forget about your “me time.” You can’t come together to make a whole unit if you’re not whole yourself. Are you missing out on valuable moments in the day where you can just be with yourself and think about what you need to fill up your cup again? Use the time to distress, reflect and dream – all of which are great food for the mind, body and soul. Try getting up 30 minutes earlier than him (or your kids) or creating a monthly reminder to book yourself some private spa time.

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Break all the rules. Who says you can’t take a chunk of that money you’ve been stacking together all winter to book a last-minute spring getaway (without the kids!)? Sometimes the only cure for monotony in a marriage is to break it up a little bit. Put the names of four places you’ve both wanted to travel to in a hat and pick one together. Book and go! You’ll come back here and thank us, we promise you!

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How do you spring clean your love life? Share your must-try tips below and your answers could be featured in an upcoming story on ESSENCE.com. Go!

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