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These days we know that a lot of men prefer texting instead of talking on the phone. It’s frustrating, we know! What happened to the days 20 years ago when we memorized phone numbers? Or spent hours on the phone laughing and talking until one of you fell asleep and playfully argued over who was going to hang up the phone first? We consistently hear the same complaint from our female clients: “I really like him, and we hit it off well, but lately he only wants to text me.” So, how do you get him to stop texting and picking up the phone? Try these steps.
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The way you start the relationship determines the direction that it will go. So, do not start it out with texting. If you do, you’re letting him know it’s ok to text you when it’s not. Let it be known early on that the phone is the best form of communication for you and stick to it.
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Trust us, if you stop responding he will do either one of two things: Stop texting, pick up the phone and call you or he will think something is wrong with your phone and wonder where your attention has diverted. Either way you make your point.
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He keeps texting you one question after another and therefore you keep having to respond with long paragraphs, huh? Enough. Next time, simply reply to his questions with a simple, “Call me…I’d love to hear your voice.”
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Nothing and no one is worth risking your life over a text message. If he’s constantly texting you when you’re out and about and in the car, pull over and say this: “Hey babe I’m driving. I have my hands-free device on though. Let’s talk!”
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Although it can seem easier to just air your concerns over text, texting is not the place to hide when conflicts arise. It’s actually the worst way to discuss your differences. When texting your feelings, all of a sudden you have the confidence to say things or use a tone you wouldn’t normally use in person. When disagreements arise, force yourself (and him) to pick up the phone or speak in person even though it’s uncomfortable. That way, you keep the respect at a comfortable level and even though you’re upset, you both can see the sincerity first-hand and the vulnerability you share will continue to pull you closer.
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Studies show that couples who spend more time on the phone having direct communication have a longer and healthier relationship. Schedule a reoccurring phone date. Let him know how much you look forward to speaking to him every evening at “your time.” You have blocked out this time exclusively for him and that will make it special for you both. Make him feel important and worthy of your time.
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Next time you’re together, share with him that you only use texting to communicate when you will be able to talk or to make arrangements to meet. Let him know how reassured you feel when you hear his voice and how important it is to you to keep your connection strong with him through personal interaction.
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Overall, if you are important enough in his life and he has nothing to hide, he will make adjustments. However, if he is so “busy” that he can’t pick up the phone and call you for more conversations than texts, he is choosing not to make time for you. A man that is truly interested will understand and make adjustments. If the interest wasn’t authentic originally, he will just stop texting or calling altogether and in the long run, we assure you that’s ok too.
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