Decoding Ten Lies Men Tell Women

Decoding Ten Lies Men Tell Women
ESSENCE.COM Mar, 13, 2009

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Do you feel like your man is giving you the run around? Well, stop running and heed the advice of former pimp turned top-selling author Big Boom. The 53-year-old self-proclaimed bodyguard of women’s hearts decodes for readers the Top Ten Lies Men Tell Women. Ladies, take notes.

“I’ll call you.”

“If we don’t call you, it’s because we don’t want you,” states Boom plainly.

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“It only happened once.”

“Nine times out of ten, if it happened once, it happened 100 times. See, you only caught me once, so that’s the only one I’m claiming,” says Boom.

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“I was staring at her pants because I think you have the same ones.”

“That’s just so I can look a little longer. What I do say is, ‘Baby, that’s a nice-looking woman. She’s got herself together.’ Now, you have to look at her. And if you help me look, there’s nothing you can do about me looking. I got you to look and now you’re agreeing with me,” explains Boom.

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“We don’t have to do anything; I just want to lay here with you.”

“Well, that’s just to get you comfortable enough to do something," reveals Boom. Sisters, make sure that you never feel pressured to do the deed with a guy—no matter how much you’re feeling him.

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“You’re too good for me.”

“This is a way to break up with you without breaking your spirit. It rarely works though. In fact, these words usually only make a woman want a man more,” according to Boom.

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“It feels better without a condom.”

“The man who says this is stupid and dangerous. Coming from the pimp world, my girls used to come home and tell me that guys would want to give them an extra $200-300 not to use a condom. And this was in a whore house. Some men think the condom slows them down. But guess what? That AIDS will really slow you down. Anytime you hear these words from a man, put your clothes back on and go home because you fittin’ to be sick.”

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“I’m just staying in my mom’s basement until I get on my feet.”

“[What that means is] I’m not worth a damn and I’m not ever gonna be worth a damn. We’re not talking about staying in my own apartment with no money, struggling—that’s trying. But if I’m 40 years old and still living in my mama’s basement, then I’m pretty much a sorry man,” Boom says.

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“I’m ‘technically’ not divorced yet but my wife and I are not together.”

According to Boom, “this is to get you comfortable enough to thinking you’re about to get a good man that some other woman has let go. Then later on I tell you we’re gonna try to work it out because of the kids. In other words, I’m done with you now and I’m gonna go on back to my family.”

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“She’s just a friend.”

“I’m telling you she’s just a friend so that I can get to spend more time with her. We play like we’re really friends. I’ll even go so far as introducing you to her and then you can get to know her too," reveals Boom.

Confused about his motives? A real man tells us when ’He’s Just Not Feeling You’ »

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“I left my wallet at home.”

“I’m trying to break you in to start paying for the meal, explains Boom. “Once you’ve paid for one, I can get you to pay for two.”

For more savvy advice from Big Boom, pick up his top-selling books, “If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs: A Guide to Understanding Men” (Fireside) and “How To Duck a Suckah: A Guide to Living a Drama-Free Life” (Fireside), both available at

Confused about his motives? A real man tells us when ’He’s Just Not Feeling You’ »

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