Come Out of Your 20s Stronger

Come Out of Your 20s Stronger
ESSENCE.COM Jul, 26, 2012

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Learn to meditate or pray. “There is no right or wrong way to pray,” says Dee Marshall, a life coach and founder of “It’s more important to simply pray, pray often and pray proactively rather than reactively after life throws you a blow.”

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Some women think asking for an assist is a sign of weakness. If you’re one of those women, abandon that mind-set now. It takes a village to do a lot of things well. Rally the troops to tackle the big assignment at work or to give you a weekend off from motherhood. “The idea that you can give 100 percent in two places at once is a myth,” says Thembisa S. Mshaka, an author and married mom of two. “Superwoman may be accomplished, but she’s often lonely and exhausted.”

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“Just take that first step in the direction of your dreams and things will slowly fall into place,” says Claire Sulmers. In 2006 Sulmers, a die-hard fashionista, launched a fashion blog as a hobby. is now one of the leading fashion destinations for women of color and has landed Sulmers introductions to her favorite designers and an entrée to fashion shows across the globe.

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During those moments while you’re in that deep, dark hole you fell into—job loss, bank accounts in the red, heartbreak, bad credit, bad decisions—it won’t feel like it can get better, but know that it will. “Don’t pray for a miracle, pray for a plan,” says publicist Christina Rice. “A plan will ensure your tomorrow will be better than it is today.”

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In ten years you won’t remember whatever big-ticket item that’s in your closet now, nor are you likely to be wearing it. And what’s worse, it probably won’t be worth much. If you’re going to break the bank, why not take an international trip? “Constant change of pace, new scenery and unpredictable adventures keep me nimble,” says marketing maven Johnica Reed, who has visited six continents and racked up countless sky miles. “I see more of myself as I see more of the world.” Or you could give to charity. There’s a lot of need out there, and though it may sound selfish, studies say being generous can make you feel better.