7 Things You Must Be Able to Talk About In Bed

10 Things You Must Be Able to Talk About In Bed
ESSENCE.COM Mar, 15, 2012

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Know his. Know yours. Share the information, then get tested together and exchange results. It’s the right way to begin your sexual relationship with a fresh start, and honestly, the only way.

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Now, hold on, we’re not saying you have to reveal the intimate details of every romp you ever had between the sheets. Your “number” is your business. But if there are skeletons in your sexual closet that could come back to haunt the present later, it’s something you both must bring up.

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How can he find your sweet spot if you never give him a map? Communicating your wants and desires in the bedroom is key to having a healthy, happy sex life. Don’t let him feel around in the dark (pun intended) — instead, shine a little light on things.

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You’ve gotten tested together and you’ve both been given a clean bill of health. He’s ready for a night cap, but there’s no condom in sight. He doesn’t seem to care. You panic, and now the moment has become super awkward. But it didn’t have to be. Be sure you’re both clear on what “safe sex” means to you and that you’re on the same page.

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What if the condom breaks? Are you ready to be a mom? Is being a dad something he’s signing up for? It goes without saying that sex can result in a lot more than a mind-blowing orgasm. Discuss what you’re ready for, and what you’re not, and share your views on how you’d handle an unplanned pregnancy. Not talking about it will not end well.

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You know what’s disappointing? Entering a sexual relationship with a man you love, who you think loves you too, and then finding out later that it was “more of a casual thing” for him. Be upfront about your emotions and insist he do the same. Knowing how he really feels about you isn’t something you want to discover the morning after.

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Nibbling a no-go for you? Speak up, honey. Whether his ego can handle it or not, if you don’t tell him what does and doesn’t work for you, he will inevitably make mistakes — and nothing is more awkward than bad sex. It’s avoidable; just speak up.

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