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Stop watching me so closely.
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OhmyGod. (I’m nervous.) Ooooh my God. (I’m excited!) Oh. My. God. (I’m stunned.) Oh my GOD. (I’m annoyed.)
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Clearly, I’m important because my fabulousness has garnered quite a social media following. Catch up.
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I’m under the impression that being homeschooled means laying around watching reruns of “Ridiculousness” and texting friends who have the misfortune of actually being in a school building.
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You’re talking too much. Your outfit is too much. Whatever you’re doing, your attempt is excessive and unsuccessful.
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Chemistry homework is a form of torture, I don’t feel doing it and the only power I have against it is to question its worth in my future.
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I, as a human being, am so dramatically different, so uniquely complex from anyone who has ever been a teenager, I am beyond comprehension. I’m almost mystical.
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What you are saying is so golden that everyone in the room needs to hear it.
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I’m done with the conversation and don’t wish to continue addressing the matter at hand.
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I like it! I enthusiastically affirm it.
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I’m impressed by her hair, makeup and outfit. She looks great.
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I’m not doing well in a class and I feel better about it when I blame the person who teaches it.
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I’ll wait until the far ends of time to get to it and when you remind me, I’ll get huffy and accuse you of nagging me.
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No seriously. Can you buy me a new phone tomorrow?
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I’m nowhere near being home.
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I’m making all kinds of sarcastic comments in my head that would get me roundhoused in real life, so rather than blurt out what I know would lead to swift and epic disaster and an installment plan of punishment, I’ll render an expressionless glare as my weapon.
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I don’t agree with the decisions you’re making on my behalf, so even though I’m claiming to be mature, I will whine and sulk like a kid.
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No offense, Mommy, but I’m sure my dating life is going to turn out way better than yours.
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I’m under the impression that legally becoming an adult will be an instant celebration of independence and liberation. In short, I’m setting myself for a rude awakening.
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