10 Things On the Minds of Single Men Right Now

10 Things On the Minds of Single Men Right Now
ESSENCE.COM Feb, 03, 2012

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About half the guys admitted that they had been on first dates with women in the past year who not only did not return calls for a second date, but gave them no reason for going M.I.A. Ladies, help educate these brothas by telling them why they didn’t make your cut (in some instances it could help them evolve to a better man).

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This was by far the most frequent comment. The vast majority of the guys interviewed felt that women (especially what they considered younger “under 35 yrs-old” women) did not know how to recognize, accept, and treat a good man.

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It hit me about 10 guys into the interviews that each one was no taller than about 5’8. As the weekend progressed I counted only five of the guys that I interviewed to be taller than six foot. This speaks exactly to my theory that while the average height for all men in the U.S. is 5’10, I believe the average height for single men in the U.S. to be shorter (about 5’8).

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This was interesting. I came across three guys that started the interview with “I love exotic women”, and I automatically assumed they were going to launch into a description of some Indonesian island beauty. But they continued with “…I love that deep dark chocolate skin.” Just underscores that when we hear the term “exotic look”, it doesn’t always mean a woman who’s non-black.

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This one was pretty straightforward. I’m sure this is not the first time you have heard fellas mention this. Smile, ladies.

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The number one question I get from ladies is “where are all the good men, Paul?” In most cases, I’m literally being asked for locations to find these guys. One thing I’ve always believed (and this experiment reinforced) is that good guys are everywhere. The key to connecting with them is getting out and expanding your reach. It is not a coincidence that, typically, the people with the widest social circles date and marry more frequently.

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What completely floored me was that within this group of 48 guys, I stumbled upon two virgins (ages 29 and 31). They were both youth ministers and stated they were saving their most precious gift for their future wife. So these guys are out there ladies!

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We hear so much about overweight women not being sexy. I’ll set aside the health concerns, and just speak esthetically. The vast majority of fellas I interviewed (40 out of 48) loved a “curvy” woman as long as she “carried it well.” When I dug deeper on what that meant, it was clear they were talking about proportion (so that supports the theory the no matter the size, most men will find a woman with a 70% waist to hip ratio sexy).

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Don’t think that because he said he’s intimidated that he’s timid or fearful of you. Most of the fellas said they’ve used that exact word as an excuse to get out of dating someone they were simply not attracted to.

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When I asked the guys to rank their top three first date deal breakers, “taking too much” came up on most of the lists.

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Have more questions for me? I’m here for you ladies. You can find me on Twitter or Facebook any time.