10 Signs You're Ready to Get Intimate

10 Signs You May Be Ready to Get Intimate
ESSENCE.COM Dec, 18, 2011

1 of 10

Trust isn’t an easy thing to come by, but if you find that you believe in what he says and does and he’s totally earned yours, that’s a great start. An intimate relationship is no good without it.

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If every time you draw a line in the sand he knows better than to cross it, that’s a huge plus. If he’s constantly trying to push you into a zone you’re not ready to enter, you may want to post a stop sign.

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There is nothing more intimate than sex and it makes both a man and woman feel more vulnerable than ever. Sharing something so special with someone you don’t yet feel you love isn’t wise. It will increase the chances you’ll regret the decision later on, especially if your feelings change.

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If he’s only smiling when you’re hugging and kissing, that’s a giant red flag. A man worthy of you will enjoy all aspects of spending time with you, not just those that could potentially lead to sex. The next time he wants to skip the dinner and the movie in favor of going right to his place, you should skip going out with him altogether.

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Feeling butterflies whenever your love interest is around is very normal. Feeling like you can’t be yourself because he’s there, isn’t. Know the difference and understand that getting intimate won’t make you feel any more comfortable with him, especially if you were uneasy around him to begin with.

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What’s his middle name? Does he have a good relationship with his parents? How’s his credit score? If you don’t know these things about him, there’s a good chance there’s still a lot more you need to learn. If he hasn’t tried to get to know you and won’t reveal much about himself, you’re a long way from intimacy time.

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There are two ways to feel a connection — physically and emotionally. If you’re doing more kissing and hugging than you are talking, that could lead to trouble. Even if you’ve gone on 20 great dates, if the conversation isn’t flowing the way you want it to, having sex can’t (and won’t) fix your communication problems.

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Who are his closest friends? Can his momma throw down in the kitchen? Has she approved of you, and you of her? If a man is really serious about being with you, he’ll want to show you off to his close friends and family without question. If he’s being shady about sharing his life with you, why would you want to share your body with him?

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Even the greatest guys have bad days. What’s he like on his? You need to know if there’s any unforeseen darkness lurking beneath that happy cloud you’ve both been floating on. Does he have a temper? Can he handle stress? If you get intimate with a man too soon and then find out he doesn’t know how to pick up the phone when he’s upset, you could be opening yourself up to disappointment and heartbreak.

10 of 10

Sure, he’s a great guy, and you have a good time together, but are you still having reservations? Not every good guy is The Guy. it may be time to ask yourself, “are we better as friends?” (Without benefits, of course.)