10 Holiday Dating Traps to Avoid

Fight less and share more this holiday season by avoiding these uncomfortable dating scenarios.

Kevin Carr Nov, 11, 2014

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Fight less and share more this holiday season by avoiding these uncomfortable dating scenarios.


The holiday season can be overwhelming, especially for couples. It ought to be a celebration of life, love and happiness. If you’re currently in a relationship, or on your way to one, celebrate it. Celebrate him, celebrate you and celebrate where you are right now. If you find yourself able to do this without struggle it means that you value what you have, and if you value it then it’s worth it, and if it’s worth it, you must protect it. As you attempt to do so, here are 10 holiday relationship pitfalls to avoid.

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When searching for the right gift for him, be mindful of the stage of your relationship. Lavish gifts and invites to intimate family gatherings aren’t the way to go if you’ve only been dating for a few weeks. Thoughtfulness is extremely attractive. He’ll love that about you. Just remember too much, too fast could scare him a bit and cause him to take a step back.

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If you focus on giving and make it your absolute goal to put a smile on his face, this holiday season your joy and satisfaction will overflow. When we give only so that we may receive in return we cheat ourselves of the process and set ourselves up for disappointment by attaching our joy to what we receive from another rather than what extends from us.

4 of 11 10 Relationship Holiday Pitfalls to Avoid

During the holiday season, you will come across all types of couples. As you do, be careful not to fall into the temptation of comparing your relationship to others. What works for them may not work for you. The best relationships are made up of two individuals who are first comfortable with themselves and then comfortable with their partner. Be confident in what you have, no matter what you see.

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By now, I’m sure you’ve seen a few heart tugging holiday commercials. There’s the one where the guy comes outside on Christmas day and sees a brand new car with a bow on it waiting just for him. Then there’s the ever-popular one with the engagement ring waiting under the Christmas tree. Granted, who wouldn’t want such a fantasy-like experience? However that’s not a reality for many. Don’t stress what’s not for you. Wherever you are in your relationship, embrace it.

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If you are at the point in your relationship where your gift should be one that goes beyond the surface, you may need to seek a little advice from him. It’s perfectly okay to ask him what he wants. No one expects you to read minds. Remember what we talked about earlier: The goal of the gifts should be to please the recipient. So the more knowledge you have regarding his wants, the greater the probability that your gift will be one that he’ll never forget.

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Having expectations that are too high, and not giving voice to them, is a very common mistake people make during this time of year. Playing coy and not giving him, at least, an idea of what you want or need could leave you feeling resentful if he gets the wrong thing. Help him help you!

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Everybody observes this time of year in his or her own way. As you navigate through this time, you will most likely be spending a lot of it with him and hopefully his friends and family as well. When you do, be open to what may be new and different than what you are used to.

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Enjoy the magical moments together, but don’t live for them. If you operate with a giving spirit and a selfless attitude you’ll get the most out of this holiday season. But always keep the end in mind, and don’t give so much of yourself that you have nothing left to give on January 2nd. Put simply: Don’t get so caught up that you move at a pace greater then where the relationship actually is.

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Don’t get so caught up in the season that you neglect the reason why you are doing what you’re doing. Make love a priority this holiday season. In the midst of the craziness, be sure to carve out some time to spend with each other and nurture your relationship.

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You have your schedule planned, and you’re gift list in order. You have dished out hints as to what you want. You are completely engulfed in the Christmas spirit. Just remember, it won’t be perfect. Life happens. Being aware of this, will lend you the patience you will need to deal with the things that inevitably will not go as planned.