• Celebrity
    • Daniel Kaluuya Digital Cover
    • Digital Cover Method Man
    • Digital Cover Zazie
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
    • If Not For My Girls
  • Fashion
    • ESSENCE Fashion House 2022
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weave
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • ESSENCE Gift Guide 2022
    • ESSENCE + smartwater Live Well Challenge
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Dream & Plan with Confidence Prudential
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Homecoming Season 2022
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • Black History Month
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
  • News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Sponsors Recognition Page 2022
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Video
  • Festival
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Fest Videos
  • Events
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Girls United Summit
    • 2022 ESSENCE Fashion House
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • 2022 Homecoming Season
    • Wellness House
    • She Got Now
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • Power Tools
  • Studios
  • Girls United

WHERE BLACK WOMEN COME FIRST

Every day we're serving Black women deeply. Come get a plate of goodness! Sign up for daily content and exclusive offers you'll love!

Your email is required.
Your email is in invalid format.
Confirm email is required.
Email did not match.
By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and that you have read our Privacy Policy
Skip to content
SUBSCRIBE
  • MAGAZINE
  • NEWSLETTER
  • Celebrity
    • Daniel Kaluuya Digital Cover
    • Digital Cover Method Man
    • Digital Cover Zazie
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
      • Paint The Polls Black
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
    • If Not For My Girls
  • Fashion
    • ESSENCE Fashion House 2022
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weave
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • ESSENCE Gift Guide 2022
    • ESSENCE + smartwater Live Well Challenge
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Dream & Plan with Confidence Prudential
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Homecoming Season 2022
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • Black History Month
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
  • News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Sponsors Recognition Page 2022
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Video
  • Festival
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Fest Videos
  • Events
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Girls United Summit
    • 2022 ESSENCE Fashion House
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • 2022 Homecoming Season
    • Wellness House
    • She Got Now
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • Power Tools
  • Studios
  • Girls United
Home · Celebrity

Mother Who Lost Daughter to Domestic Violence Fights for Law to Help Others

When there's a celebrity involved, domestic violence suddenly becomes a hot bed issue. But women are abused every day and they are rarely seen as front-page news. In fact, one in four women has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Many of these women survive their abusive relationships, but some do not. Joanna Paul lost her daughter Monica, a 31-year-old mother of two from Montclair, New Jersey, after she was fatally shot while watching her son swim at the Montclair YMCA Family Center last year. The alleged assailant was her ex-boyfriend and the father of her children, Anton Kenneth Duckett. Paul had her concerns about Duckett from day one. Now, she is raising 12-year-old Essence and 7-year-old Noah who have lost both parents in this tragedy. Paul shares her story with ESSENCE.com about her efforts to get a law passed in her daughter's name, why she takes her grandchildren to therapy and how this experience has changed her life forever.
By · Updated October 29, 2020

When there’s a celebrity involved, domestic violence suddenly becomes a hot bed issue. But women are abused every day and they are rarely seen as front-page news. In fact, one in four women has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Many of these women survive their abusive relationships, but some do not. Joanna Paul lost her daughter Monica, a 31-year-old mother of two from Montclair, New Jersey, after she was fatally shot while watching her son swim at the Montclair YMCA Family Center last year. The alleged assailant was her ex-boyfriend and the father of her children, Anton Kenneth Duckett. Paul had her concerns about Duckett from day one. Now, she is raising 12-year-old Essence and 7-year-old Noah who have lost both parents in this tragedy. Paul shares her story with ESSENCE.com about her efforts to get a law passed in her daughter’s name, why she takes her grandchildren to therapy and how this experience has changed her life forever.

My world came tumbling down on June 26, 2008. I was numb and shocked to hear that my daughter Monica had been shot and killed. I didn’t want to live anymore. Monica was gone forever and her children Essence and Noah are the only physical parts of her that remain.

Growing up, Monica and I bumped heads like any other normal mother-daughter relationship. We were just starting to get close again when she was killed. The thing I admired most about my daughter was that she was a great mother. Ten years ago, when I first met Anton Kenneth Duckett, I voiced my concerns to Monica. I told her four words that still haunt me today.

“Monica, he’s bad news.”
“You’d feel that way about anybody,” she said.

I didn’t know the depth of my words until now. That was the first time I met him and the only time I said something outright to her about their relationship. It wasn’t until October 2007 that she responded back, telling me about the trouble she was in. One night, she called me upset saying that Anton had threatened to kill her. She got a second restraining order against him and wrote letters to her kids that very day as if she knew what might occur.

“If you’re reading this, then something must have happened to me. I love you…know that I am in a better place,” she wrote in her letter to Noah.

It has been unbelievably hard and even more difficult to swallow that there are laws in place that should have prevented Monica’s death. I never expected to be putting flowers on her grave. That’s why I want to pass “Monica’s Law.”If such a law was in place at the time, it would have allowed for stricter, more protective legislation against abusive fathers who use their visitation rights to stay close to their victims. Anton had constant contact with Monica because of the kids. Under this type of law, Monica could have withheld visitation until Anton completed a risk-assessment class in domestic violence or face three to five years of jail time for violating the restraining order.

On the one-year anniversary of her death this summer, my family and I, with the help of local supporters, held a candlelight vigil against domestic violence. We chose to have part of the vigil at the Montclair YMCA Family Center. I wanted to see where she took her last breath, thinking at the time that it would help me to reach a sense of closure. That was a mistake. It only troubled me even more.

I stay strong for my grandchildren. They’re both in counseling now because I don’t want this to manifest itself later in their lives and perpetuate into the next generation. Essence doesn’t talk about her father at all. Noah, on the other hand, does talk about him, but sensed that I was uncomfortable by it. One day, he said something that made me realize my purpose despite my loss.

“Grandma, you don’t want me to say my dad so I’ll say ‘the bad guy’ instead,” said my six-year-old grandson.

I realized I had to put my feelings to the side. I explained to Noah that even though his father did a very bad thing, he is still his father.

There will always be a void in our lives because Monica will never be physically here with us again, but if I can tell my story to other young women, perhaps even one life can be saved. Then I’ll know that my Monica’s life was not in vain.


If you are in a similar situation and need help, call the 24-hour Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). For more information on how to help pass Monica’s Law, visit monicapaul.org.

 

 

 

COMPANY INFORMATION
  • Our Company
  • Customer Service
  • Essence Ventures
  • Change Your Address
  • Contact Us
  • Job Opportunities
  • Internships
  • Media Kit
  • tag
SUBSCRIBE
  • Newsletters
  • Give a Gift of ESSENCE
  • Magazine Tablet Edition
FOLLOW US
MORE ON ESSENCE
  • Home
  • Love
  • Celebrity
  • Beauty
  • Hair
  • Fashion
  • ESSENCE festival

ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc.

Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

©2023 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms

Get The ESSENCE Newsletter and
Special Offers delivered to your inbox

By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Get The ESSENCE Magazine
by subscribing below
subscribe now