Hello there, good people. I’ve got a question for you: How many of you have a constitution by which you govern your life? You know, the written or unwritten rules that establish your character, conduct, goals and priorities?
We’ll, I’ve got one, and mine comes with countless addenda that further commit me, in an unrealistic fashion, to my established constitution…
My constitution establishes that I give my greatest effort to loving, trusting, living for, and being a witness for Jesus Christ, being a loving and supportive wife, a nurturing parent that equips and enables my kids to live great lives naturally and spiritually. It established that I will give my best effort to being a good steward over the things (my God-given calling, wealth, business, etc.) God has placed in my care; I’ll always live my life with integrity, assume full responsibility for my choices, be true to who I am, go hard for what I want, and be loyal to the people I care about.
This constitution is great, if I may say so myself. The problem is, the doggone addenda that speak to the facilitation of this constitution. In an effort to adhere to this constitution, that is very important to my existence, I’ve created all these dang rules and responsibilities that cause me to exhaust myself, more than anything.
For example, since I travel often, I hate breaking plans that I’ve made w/my kids, so they never think that they’re less important to me than the adult things that mommy is committed to. So rather than telling them we’re gonna have to postpone something or adjusting to a simpler schedule, I’ll just exhaust myself in the name of love and commitment to my kids. Then I’m tired and stressed because I did too much.
Or rather than just being around to look beautiful, smile in my husbands face and be right there for whatever he may want or need, I’ll choose to make some extensive, time consuming dinner, after juggling a hectic day with the children’s schedule and business. Now had I just ordered take-out and set it up beautifully, I’d have more time and better energy to give my husband. Somehow my brain tells me, “Don’t become a Hollywood wife, real women prepare home-cooked meals for their man and make a beautiful display on the dining room table, in the good dishes, not exactly china but the fine dinnerware that you display in the glass cabinet so everyone can see. So once again, I exhaust myself in the name of love.
Then there’s the full business schedule or other household responsibilities that I don’t want to leave unhandled because that would make me negligent and NOT A GOOD STEWARD over the things God has placed in my care. If not that, it generally translates in my brain as someone who’s irresponsible and hasn’t managed my time well. Now if I’m a businesswoman, committed wife and mom, I’m gonna have to be able to manage my time and responsibilities well, in order to maintain my commitment to my constitution.
And I forgot to mention that it’s an unspoken rule that at worst, I’ve got to be at least an A- in all categories listed. Anything less than an A- in adhering up to my constitution is basically failing and failing clearly is not an option (that’s the other unspoken rule). Can anybody see where I’m going?
Truth is, I wrote and established my constitution. I also wrote the addenda that speak to the facilitation. If they’re unrealistic and are leaving me exhausted, frustrated, and lacking any good energy to put into the things and people I care about, I can just change it. After all, I authored this thing. I can adjust all those unrealistic items that have me trying to overextend myself in the name of being great at everything, right?
That’s the hard part. I do want to fully commit to who and what I’m committed to, but I do know that if I’m exhausted and frustrated, I’m no good to anyone and anything. And I can’t let that be because that clearly goes against my constitution. I haven’t quite figured it all out but I am committed to trying.
Perhaps I can be more realistic w/the life and responsibilities that I have. Truth is, time is not a luxury in it. Perhaps I can find simpler thing and ways to show my love for my family and friends. Perhaps I can allocate some responsibilities to my personal and professional help, rather than trying to be super woman and do it all myself. Perhaps I can find a way to maximize the moments that I do have. Perhaps I can accept the things that I can do and stop worrying about what I can’t. Perhaps I can pray more for God’s help in managing my life well and leaving what I can’t manage to him.
My constitution is important but so is my sanity and peace. So I’ll keep praying and adjusting to find the right balance and contentment once it’s found. After all, no one should be held hostage to their own constitution.