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Home · Celebrity

Marsai Martin Opens Up About Hardest Year Of Her Life: ‘I Was In A Dark Place’

The "black-ish" star revealed some of her personal struggles despite her big wins this year.
Marsai Martin Opens Up About Hardest Year Of Her Life: ‘I Was In A Dark Place’
Steve Granitz/Getty Images
By Paula Rogo · Updated December 6, 2020

Marsai Martin has had a big year!

Not only did she become the youngest executive producer in Hollywood history with her film Little, but she is also the youngest person to ever sign a first-look deal with Universal Studios. 

But in a vulnerable post on Instagram Tuesday, dedicated to God, Martin shared that she has been struggling with self-doubt, imposter syndrome and “dark emotions” despite all her success so far this year.

“Moments from this year, I was in a dark place. A place that I didn’t think I was going to get out of. I thought I wasn’t good enough and I thought I needed to present myself in a way that was ‘perfect’ when I didn’t need to. Putting so much pressure on myself. Fighting with myself,” she revealed. “The more I kept how I was feeling hidden, the more this dark emotion got bigger.”

View this post on Instagram

Appreciation post to God: I sometimes see these types of posts as corny but this is how I feel lol. This year has been a roller coaster. This year has been filled with crazy emotions and big blessings that I couldn’t even imagine me having. Moments from this year, I was in a dark place. A place that I didn’t think I was going to get out of. I thought I wasn’t good enough and I thought I needed to present myself in a way that was “perfect” when I didn’t need to. Putting so much pressure on myself. Fighting with myself. This feeling had nothing to do with how child actors think. These were my own personal thoughts. The more I kept how I was feeling hidden, the more this dark emotion got bigger. I finally talked to my parents even tho they already knew how I was feeling. It made me feel better about myself. A sense of relief. I started praying more, talking more, and spending more time with the people I love. Now I’m feeling the best I’ve ever felt In a long time. Thank you God for hearing my prayers. Thank you God for blessing me with the greatest family and friends. I encourage everyone to speak their mind to anyone u trust. Even asking a random person “how are you?” Can mean something. Also, be yourself because no one can be like you, other than YOU. Okay I’m done bye♥️ – MM

A post shared by Marsai Martin (@marsaimartin) on Jun 25, 2019 at 12:07pm PDT

But Martin shared that turning to God, her family and the people she loved, has helped her transition to feel “the best I’ve ever felt In a long time.”

“Thank you God, for hearing my prayers. Thank you God for blessing me with the greatest family and friends,” she said.

“I encourage everyone to speak their mind to anyone u trust. Even asking a random person ‘How are you?’ Can mean something. Also, be yourself because no one can be like you, other than YOU.”

Along with premiering her debut film, Little, earlier this year, Martin also got her roses on Sunday when she won the Young Stars Award at the BET Awards. 

TOPICS:  Halle Bailey Marsai Martin
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