During the conversation, which was released on Monday (Oct. 11), she talked about what it’s like trying to re-enter the dating scene after officially filing for divorce earlier this year, and not being used to the way that scene has changed in the social media age.
“This is a new world. Remember, when I got with ‘Mel, there wasn’t Instagram, DMs. You meet people differently now,” she said. “I’m just trying to figure out what is my space in this new world of dating. I don’t know. Guys don’t really put the same amount of effort in anymore. It’s too easy to DM ‘come through.’ Aight, so if you have 100 girls saying ‘alright,’ what you gonna go extra for this person for? It’s like figuring it out. But I promise you, it’s the wild wild west.”
While dating is one thing to get adjusted to, LaLa says she doesn’t see marriage in her future after what she’s been through. When she initially separated from Carmelo in 2017, he was accused of cheating and conceiving a child with another woman. Despite the fact that he was an NBA star and it’s often assumed that professional athletes aren’t faithful in their relationships, she said she couldn’t have foreseen her ordeal.
“I was aware of it but when it kind of happened to me in the way it did I was surprised because that wasn’t our relationship,” she said. “I was aware of it. We talked through things. I’m like, ‘Be careful out here.’ We were together since ‘Melo was 19 years old. So I grew up with him and trying to guide him. I’m trying to also be wifey and friend because we started off as friends. So when sh-t pops off it’s like, damn.”
When asked if she was really “bad” in the wake of the upheaval of her marriage, the actress was honest about how tough it really was for her.
“I was bad because it was public. I was bad because other people were involved. I was bad because there were allegations. It got bad,” she said. “That sh-t hit me really hard. That came out of nowhere. I’ve heard so many times, even a lawyer said once, ‘Well he’s a basketball player. What did you expect?’ I’m like, to be honest, I didn’t expect that. I didn’t go into this marriage expecting that.”
But the actress and producer has persevered. She’s been able to get through the worst of that time in her life with help from her work, her son, Kiyan, therapy and more.
“[It’s] time. It’s finding love and passion in other things,” she said. “For me it’s my son and work so I go head first into that. Stay busy. It’s therapy. There’s always been this stigma around therapy but it’s helpful to talk to a neutral person and get it all out.”
She added, “I was with him for 15 years. It was hard. But then you realize how strong you are and resilient and you bounce back and then you’re checking DMs and trying to go on a date.”
Presently though, the only man she’s really focused on is Kiyan. She is working to make sure that he knows that no matter what may happen with her and Carmelo, they will always be a family—and friends.
“When you’ve been with somebody for so long and we started as best friends, I love that we still have that friendship,” she said. “We’re raising a kid together. It’s no drama with us, it’s no beef. I talk to him as I talk to my close friend and we still have that.”