Lauren Porter
Nov, 29, 2017

JAY-Z's most recent album 4:44 is arguably the most vulnerable recording of his career. On the album he he bares his soul on tracks about his infidelities, his mother's sexuality and his children. 

The glimpse into his personal life with wife Beyoncé, which is heavily guarded and intentionally private, showed fans that despite the Carters' renowed stardom, their flaws are just as human as their fans. 

In an intimate interview with The New York Times, T Magazine, the Brooklyn native exposed even more of his truth and talked about the emotional reality of hearing his wife record Lemonade and how 4:44 became an apologetic proclamtion of his love and devotion. 

"It happened — we were using our art almost like a therapy session. And we started making music together. And then the music she was making at that time was further along. So her album came out as opposed to the joint album that we were working on. Um, we still have a lot of that music. And this is what it became. There was never a point where it was like, 'I’m making this album.' I was right there the entire time."

Lemonade dropped in April of 2016, and for the first time, fans of the first couple of Hip-Hop and R&B heard that there was indeed trouble in their paradise. 

"We were sitting in the eye of that hurricane...but the best place is right in the middle of the pain. And that's where we were sitting. And it was uncomfortable. And we had a lot of conversations. [I was] really proud of the music she made, and she was really proud of the art I released. And, you know, at the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another's craft. I think she's amazing."

He continues: "You know, most people walk away, and like divorce rate is like 50 percent or something ’cause most people can’t see themselves. The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused, and then have to deal with yourself. So, you know, most people don't want to do that. You don't want to look inside yourself. And so you walk away."

In June, Beyoncé gave birth to the couple's twins, Rumi and Sir Carter, who joined their oldest daughter 5-year-old Blue Ivy. 

4:44 earned Hov eight Grammy nominations for the 60th annual award show including Record of the Year, Album of the Year and Song of the Year. The 48-year-old also received a nom in every category of the rap field including Best Rap Album, Best Rap Song, Best Music Video and two Best Rap/Sung Perfomance nods. 

To read JAY-Z's full T Magazine feature, click here