The good, the bad, and the beautiful things about owning a business with your husband.
Kia Granberry Moore, founder of LiveLoveKia Ministries, has been a minister for over six years. She says that conquering her fears to declare that God had called her to preach the Gospel was probably the hardest thing she has ever done. Her ministry, called #DOPECrowns, helps to empower women. DOPE stands for “Depending On Prayer Everyday.” Moore led a fasting movement that touched thousands on six continents and launched the world’s first completely digital worship conference that touched over 4-million social media timelines in one weekend.
Now Moore is a newlywed and entrepreneur in business with her husband, Tarrik Moore. Together the couple also lead a ministry called #MoWoCoTeens. In an intimate conversation Moore offers advice on how to balance building a business with your man and reveals the good, the bad and the ugly.
Congratulations on all of your success, Kia. You are a newlywed! Tell us your love story.
MOORE: I am so happy. This spring, I married my friend of over seven years and long time business partner, Tarrik Moore. Tarrik has owned an urban dance company, U-DIG DANCE, for over a decade. My husband and I operate MoWoCo Creative Groupe, a boutique marketing and branding agency. We use the resources we from our branding company to fund our non-profit, MoWoCo Teens. Since my husband ran a successful business for ten years, served as an angel investor and has coached several entrepreneurs, he thought that pairing his experience with my work as an executive for a non-profit and two mega churches would work well...and it has! MoWoCo Teens has been successful because we take teens from low-income and high-crime neighborhoods and empower them to become productive citizens. We fund this program with our own income and by the amazing donations of everyday people who want to see change!
Wonderful. How do you balance being together all day at work as colleagues and then as a family at night?
MOORE: Oh my goodness...we laughed about this earlier today. We are almost always together, which is not typical for most couples. It’s important that we give each other space and create boundaries. I think what keeps our working/marriage relationship from being overwhelming is the constant reminder that what we build and produce will change the lives of teens through our program, MoWoCo Teens. The entire world is seemingly against the success and progress of low-income African American teens...so we refuse to allow any differing perspectives to distract us from our focus.
Yes! How do you and your husband handle work disputes?
MOORE: Simple: I let him take the lead. I think any businessman or businesswoman who has had some success might consider himself or herself an authority. But as I explore more and more about Biblical marriage, I recognize that there is such safety in following his lead in spite of times when our perspectives may differ. He welcomes my opinion, and of course, I make my own decisions. But ultimately, I yield to his leadership and respect him as the priest, provider and protector of our home.
What are your top three tips for other married or committed couples who want to go into business together?
MOORE: First of all, find your purpose. When you zero in on a common goal, it shifts your perspective on any challenges that arise because you are headed in the same direction no matter what. Secondly, listen. You have to be even more careful about truly listening when you work with your spouse, because intertwined with your business are emotions and occasional misplaced assumptions. Finally, allow for growth. Shifting your expectations and making your boundaries a bit more flexible will offer your spouse room to learn, grow and mature.
Well said. Many Black women of all ages email my Intimacy Intervention column expressing some version of the lie that marriage is for others and not people of African descent. Did you think you would be married growing up?
MOORE: marriage to help my family. It can be very hard for Black women to marry because so many Black men are captured in the pipeline from school to prison. There is so much I could say about systemic racism and its impact on the Black family, but I will say that marriage in our communities is not impossible. I would like to insert that marriage is not for everyone and that we have to stop perpetuating this culture that marriage is a prize for good behavior and that a woman is most accomplished when she has a husband. I have a huge problem with single shaming. My heart breaks for single women who are antagonized about why they haven’t married or re-married as if they are flawed, broken or disposable. I want every single woman to know that she should embrace who she is and let no one rob her of her peace regardless of her marital status.
I’ve had many of my successful, high-powered coaching clients tell me that men are intimidated by them. You are very well known. What’s your advice for them?
MOORE: What I would share with high-powered women who feel like men are intimidated by them is to evaluate their dating choices and their dating behaviors. I am in no way an expert on relationships, but I do know that men like to feel valued. Sometimes, when we (women) are consumed by what value we bring to our company or organizations and how powerful we are in our own right...we can forget to take that shell off, be vulnerable and value what the man in our life has to offer. Black women are forced to be warriors without trying every day in this world - we are generally the decision makers of homes, often the breadwinners and the only parents our children know...but we have to fight the inclination to use that power in the wrong way in relationships. When we use the power that we have as women in a way that empowers our men...we create this superpower that is unstoppable...a superpower that the world can hardly handle. It’s deep, but the world needs more of it.
Beautiful! What’s the best part about working with your man?
MOORE: Easy...stealing kisses in the middle of the day! It’s so much fun...I get to make him breakfast, lunch and dinner...we get to go to random Starbuck’s work dates and we get to live our dreams.
Abiola Abrams is the founder of The Bombshell Academy blog, online school and web series over at AbiolaTV and author of the award-winning Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion.