“I don't want to lose my blessings for another man that God has for me, but I'm in love with this man,” says this reader. Dr. Sherry gives her some tough love.
You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I'm in love with a man who has another woman. His girlfriend lives in a different city and they’ve been together for the last eight years. He did tell me he is in a relationship with her, but we’ve been seeing each other for the last five months and I feel like he's in love with me too. I feel like he is confused about choosing between the two of us. I know about her but she doesn’t know about me. I want to walk away from him because I don't want to lose my blessings for another man that God has for me. But, I'm in love with this man and I want to show him that I'm an honest and loyal woman. He's not married, so I feel like I have a chance with him. He tells me not to fall in love with him, but yet I feel that he's in love with me. What should I do?
If someone tells you who they are, believe them! This man has told you up front that he has another woman who he has been in a relationship with for possibly eight years. He has also told you not to fall in love with him. How many ways can he tell you that he does not want a relationship? What more does he need to say for you to believe that he is not emotionally available to you? Unfortunately, you are failing to understand your role and how he views you. I hate to tell you this, but you are an honest and loyal "side chick.”
You state that you feel that he is confused between you and the other women. There is nothing to suggest that he is confused about anything. You are creating a love story based on your heart and how you would like things to be as opposed to the reality of how they truly are. If you fear losing your "blessings for another man that God has for you” by staying with him, it is time to move on. I doubt seriously that God would provide you with a man that you had to share with anyone. Being in love may make it hard to move on but being hurt emotionally and being the side chick should make it easier. You deserve more so why settle for less? -- Dr. Sherry
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