It turns out that men aren’t as cool about breakups as women think.
Romantic movies have always lead you to believe that women are the ones who are hit the hardest emotionally after a breakup and men just keep their cool. But new research out of the University College London suggests that the guys might have been misunderstand all along when it comes to failed romance—they’re hurting too.
Researchers surveyed 5,707 men and women from 96 different countries about their behavior surrounding breakups, reports Yahoo! Health. They found that after a couple breakup women experience more emotional anguish during the aftermath while it takes men longer to recover, if they ever do.
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Yes, you heard correctly. Researchers insist that their findings reveal that men never fully recover from a breakup, they just “move one” to a new relationship and ever properly resolve old feelings. Translation: Your ex boyfriend taking lots of selfies with his new girlfriend just months after your split doesn’t mean he’s happier; he just thinks he is.
The study used an evolutionary perspective to explain these findings. Their conclusions: women invest more into their relationships and are chooser about their potential mates, so the loss feels more devastating. Meanwhile men historically compete with each other for a woman’s affection, so when they lose a good one, they may have to go through a few other relationships to truly comprehend what they had with an ex.