The eight men behind Single Man, Married Man, that buzzy relationship advice book you keep hearing about, paid ESSENCE a visit to explain why their book is 100-percent woman-approved.
After recognizing that when it comes to love, many of their female friends prefer hearing advice from men with varying relationship statuses rather than from other women, eight close guy friends from New York City (some married, some single, one divorced) came together to try to make that conversation happen on a much broader scale. Their answer: New collaborative dating book Single Man, Married Man. Inside they attempt to answer all of the relationship questions their single girlfriends have ever most asked for their opinions on from all of the necessary perspectives—you know, single, married and it's complicated? Now from The Today Show co-hosts to the Fox News team it seems everyone is talking about this book. To find out what all of the fuss is about, the ESSENCE.com editors invited the fellas in for a little "debate" on all things love. We took a few notes from our candid one-on-one discussion just for you.
These Are Real Feelings Not Facts
The guys are very open about their feelings in every chapter, but they want you to remember that they are just that. They are not claiming to be experts at the game of love, but they want women to know that men want to talk about it too. Translation: When you see that the very first chapter is all about the importance of stroking your man's ego, don't lose your cool just yet. Instead, consider that as husbands, boyfriends, exes and fiancés themselves, these men might be sharing some insight that your man wishes he could but hasn't yet. Hear them out.
You're On The Same Page With Someone
Not all men think the same. Give this book a good read from cover-to-cover and you'll find that somewhere among the eight male voices you'll hear is at least one that speaks to where you are and what you believe to be true in your heart. Some of these men are single. Some are married. One is divorced and one is even a certified life coach. So, no two opinions are alike. Whether you agree or agree to disagree, they're still excellent conversation starters.
A Lot Of This Is Wife Approved
One of the co-authors, Dr. Jean Alerte, was part of the trio of best friends who came up with the original concept for the book and the research behind it. Alerte is a happily married entrepreneur living in Brooklyn who readily admitted that he refused to move forward with the book until his wife had given it a thorough read and a big thumbs up.
There's Something For Everyone
In addition to hoping to help women better engage in healthy conversations with their romantic partners, the authors tell us they're also focused on helping both men and women establish stronger relationships with family members and friends over all. As co-author DJ Fadelf puts it, "Relationships aren't just man-woman. You have to work on your relationships as a whole."
Pillow Talk Alert: Men Need To Read This Too
This book isn't just for the ladies. After all, men wrote the book, so it's no surprise that it speaks to the fellas too. They're finding some valuable takeaways. Alerte says more men are picking up this book than women and he believes it's because they want to learn how to best express their true feelings and concerns to the special lady in their life.
These Guys Love Some Destiny's Child
You'll find many a quote from Beyoncé, Kelly and Michelle throughout this book. Whether the guys are praising women for being strong and independent ("Tell me what you think about me, I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings") or insisting that every woman listen to "Cater 2 U" on repeat, we can say with total confidence that there are more than a few male members of the #Beyhive.
Visit SingleManMarriedMan.com for more information on the authors or to purchase a copy of the book.