You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I’m in need of expert advice. I have been in a nice relationship for five months. We are both in love and I am 53 and he is turning 50. He also has been living with his mother for 3 and a half years. We have been taking things kind of slow. I want more connection with him, and I've told him this. We spend weekends together, but I want more communication during the week. I don't call him either because I'm waiting for him to call me. I do send him messages though, but he doesn't reply. Am I wasting my time or am I just being paranoid that he won't change?
It seems as if you have mistaken a "nice" five-month friendship for “love.” You stated that you were both in love. Yes, that may be true, but you’re not in love with each other. There is nothing to suggest that this man is in love with you. There are a lot of flashing lights that are telling you that something is wrong here and you need to slow down and read the warning signs. The main warning sign is that this man is turning 50 and has lived with his mother for the last three years. Is there a reason he lives at home? More importantly, is there a reason he cannot communicate or come out to play until the weekend? What makes you think you are more than just casual friends? Maybe, you are friends with possible benefits at best. The fact that he does not even respond when you contact him should answer your question about wasting your time. You deserve more and for whatever reason, this man is not emotionally or physically available to you. He has shown you who he is, so believe him and move on! – Dr. Sherry
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