If a husband is what you’re after, you may need to look no further than the best guy friend you have.
The male-female friendship can be a difficult one because often times dating and sexual attraction can get in the way of a platonic bond. The basis of all friendships is some sort of attraction, and if that is with the opposite sex, it can present a problem if it’s not reciprocated. But, I do believe it can also be a good thing if both the man and the woman are on the same page.
Recently, a sister-friend discovered that a guy she’d known for a couple of years, as a friend, was attracted to her. It was a surprise to her because they’d always had a platonic and fun friendship. At first, she was apprehensive about dating him, but when he wouldn’t relent, she gave in, and eventually they went out. What she discovered was that in a date setting, she was even more attracted to him than she’d previously thought before.
This particular sister-friend has been known to be a player, so she continued to date other guys while dating her “friend.” Slowly but surely, the other guys disappeared and there was just this guy who had not quite moved into the boyfriend zone yet. My friend can be very guarded, and she moves very slowly when it comes to making it official. Months went by, and I kept hearing this guy’s name. I knew something more serious was going on even if she wasn’t ready to admit it to herself or others.
Then, one day I was on browsing a social media site and noticed that she’d changed her relationship status. I was both shocked and happy at the same time. For someone so fiercely private, it was a surprise that she would broadcast anything personal like that in such a public forum. (We don’t do that.) Yet, I was even happier that she was at a point where her relationship meant enough to her to step outside of her comfort zone. More importantly, I loved the guy with which she was now, “in a relationship” with. He was friendly, smart and clearly concerned about her needs. He also struck me as someone who liked my sister-friend as is and had no desire to change who she is. Because their relationship was built on a foundation of friendship, they both knew exactly what they were getting and they liked it.
It made me consider all of the successful relationships that I know. They are all rooted in a great friendship. When my best friend got married, it was difficult for me to accept that I was no longer her true best friend. But, alas, that is the way it should be. It is clear that she and her husband are each other’s best friends. And, I am sure when things get rough (as they do for everyone) it is their friendship that makes it easier to survive.
Personally, I can say the same thing. My long-term relationship lasted as long as it did because we were friends first before we became romantic. So, if the evidence proves to be true, it looks like my sister-friend, who is now involved with her friend, has a great chance for success in the relationship – maybe even marriage.
If you’re looking for the guy for you, maybe you don’t have to look too far. He might already be a friend in your life. Naturally, the feeling has to be mutual, but romantic relationships rooted in great friendships are often much stronger than those that are not. Don’t count out your good friend, ladies, he may just be your future husband.
Wishing you LOVE & CEASLESS JOY!
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Nathan’s book INSPIRATION: Profiles of Black Women Changing Our World is available now.