On the outside you seem to have it all, but deep down you are hurting. How you can stop pretending and really deal with your emotional baggage?
Churches, organizations, companies and homes are filled with women who are hiding behind the lipstick. Every day, no matter what we go through, we put on our lipstick. We cover up the imperfections we see in ourselves. When we look in the mirror we see what we are not, and we try to fix it. We are constantly primping and prodding, aiming for perfection and the absence of fault. By doing this we prevent the very essence of who we are from being seen. Who are you? What happened to you? Where is the person you remember before molestation, before daddy left or before mama died? What goes on inside of that brain of yours? Much of our time is spent shielding and protecting what remains of our core being. We have allowed circumstances to hurt us so much that we withdraw deeper and deeper within ourselves. With every offense, a part of who we are fades away and is ultimately forgotten.
For some, your lipstick is your career. All you seem to talk about are the letters behind your name. All we hear is, “Girl, I have a BA, MA, FNP, COD, and EGD.” When it is time to relax and hang out with friends, the conversation is bombarded with all the new accomplishments and the journey up the corporate ladder. Those things are very nice and are celebrated, but who are you? How happy are you? Is this just a cover up so those around you can’t see that you are actually trying to win your daddy’s approval? Maybe it is that you finally feel worth something after being given up for adoption at a young age? We are more concerned with the person you are deep inside. Whatever your lipstick is, and we all have something, it is time to stop hiding behind things and emotions and allow the core of our being to be seen.
God has a plan for your life. When we become what our mothers trained us to be, what we think others will like, what is safest for us emotionally, we take His plan into our own hands. You meet a man who is into skiing and the first thing you do is buy all kinds of gear to head straight up the slopes. You have never skied a day in your life and cannot even stand cold weather, but are more than willing to put up this front that the snow is the place to be, just to impress that man. Being who you are and loving it is the best gift you could ever give yourself. Enough is enough.
It is time for us to work harder on actually appreciating ourselves rather than pretending we do. This is a process for women who are serious about their lives, their relationship with God, and the impact they will make on this world in the future. We long to be real, open, and vulnerable, yet we don’t do ourselves what we are expecting from others. Take off the mask, show who you are, and allow others to love you — the real you — the person that God created. And yes, all the flaws, mistakes, doubts, fears, passions, convictions and accomplishments that come with the true you are absolutely welcome.
Myesha Chaney is a recording artist, motivational speaker, mother, wife and the first lady of Antioch Church of Long Beach, California. Her new album, Take Him to The World, will be released July 3.