Is giving him your number really a good idea?
You’re single, looking for love and you know exactly what you like in a man – you just can’t seem to find it. You’re not into things like Facebook hookups or blind dates but you’re open to dating a non-crazy guy. (The last one you gave your card to never stopped calling.) Are we describing you to a tee? If so, Rachel DeAlto’s dating FlipMe meet-up method, which is getting lots of buzz lately, could be your new favorite way to flirt.
Here’s how it works: You join and setup an online profile sharing only what you want to. You receive your FlipMe cards in the mail that feature fun pick up lines and conversation starters and your unique custom profile info on them. The next time you make eye contact with a gorgeous guy and you’re intrigued, you give him a card. If he likes you he can find you on FlipMe.com, but if he’s a little too weird for your tastes, he’ll never have your real information. “We’re all about having fun,” says DeAlto. “That’s our focus. We’re putting the fun back in flirting.” DeAlto says it’s a safe and simple way for a woman to approach a man. We checked in with the dating expert known online as “The Flirt Expert” to find how FlipMe and sights like that can fit into the modern woman’s dating world.
ESSENCE.COM: So, there’s no way the guy you give the card to can find you if you don’t want him to?
DEALTO: If he goes on the site, he sees your profile, and it’s entirely up to you what you want to put on there. None of it is really typical online dating profile information – it’s more of a conversation starter. All of the questions are based on your personality. He just sees your picture and those answers, and then there’s a form he can use if he wants to connect with you – similar to sending a Facebook message. It’s kind of like a middleman vetting system. If you don’t like the person, they never know who you are or what your first name is or any of that type of information. Whereas, if you give out a business card, they can contact you at work or find you on Facebook. They have all of your information already.
ESSENCE.COM: What inspired you to create this flirting method?
DEALTO: I find that a lot of women have had issues with giving out their business cards and their phone numbers and email address. They’ve ultimately had to change it because they’ve had issues with people they shouldn’t have given it to having that access. The other issue – and I’ve had this happen to me before – is that you give out your card because you’re flirting, but they don’t get that because it is a business card.
ESSENCE: What type of women would feel good about using this method?
DEALTO: There’s definitely a confidence factor to it, and a fun one. You really can’t take yourself too serious with this. A lot of single moms like to use it. They want to protect their kids, their family, and ultimately their information. Also, women who can’t do online dating, but do want to meet people, use it to kind of protect their identity as well – like women who don’t have a public Facebook page.
ESSENCE: Do you feel that modern dating is headed in this direction?
DEALTO: I’m all for women taking the initiative and going after what they want, but I do love the chase. I think even in the modern era, that’s where something like FlipMe kind of comes in. It gives them the green light to pursue you.
ESSENCE: What if she feels sort-of desperate going about it this way?
DEALTO: It’s just like when online dating first came out. Fifteen years ago you couldn’t get anyone to admit that they went on a computer to find a date. I think part of it is just adjusting to new ways. The response from the men that get them has been great. Whether they get a card or a smile, they eat it up. They love it. They like having a clue that you’re into them.