Life coach Tony Gaskins Jr. on how to find your husband.
It’s becoming increasingly popular for women to get stuck as a career girlfriend instead of a wife. It’s becoming so popular that many are beginning to feel that marriage isn’t as necessary as it once was. It’s human nature to convince ourselves that we don’t want something when we can’t obtain it in a favorable amount of time. We have to change that.
As a Professional Life & Relationship Coach, I’ve had to deal with the frustrations of several career girlfriends, and as a solution, I give women some clear steps that would make me marry a woman that I love.
I’m pleased to say that these steps have worked every time in one way or another. Taking these steps will make your man step-up or step-out of your life! These steps are to be taken after 12 months of serious dating. Serious dating is considered to be talking or spending at least 1 hour a day with your partner. To do it before that is unfair to the man and you’d be rushing.
The 3 Steps:
1. Make it clear to your man what your goal for the relationship is. Even if you’ve done it before, do it again and then follow-through with the rest of the steps.
2. Give him a timeline as to when you feel you all need to be married or moving on with your lives as good friends. Explain to him that you are okay with him taking his time, but it’s not fair for you to have to put your life on hold for years on end while he decides what he wants to do, and God forbid he chooses he wants to be with someone else after those 5-10 years of you waiting on him.
3. Cut off the benefits package. There are benefits to marriage that shouldn’t come with dating, i.e., living together, having sex, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Separate the two so that marriage has incentives beyond signing the dotted line.
There are no guarantees in life, but taking action sure beats sitting back and waiting. A man needs to know that you know your own value and he will then give you what you’re worth. If a man leaves you because of this it only means that he was going to leave one day anyway, so better now than later.
Time is too precious to be wasted because that’s the one thing we will never get back. Trust me when I tell you, a man that loves you will step-up to the plate and make you his wife. One of my client’s boyfriend proposed in 2 weeks after she took these steps -- true story -- so I know for a fact it’s meant to be, it can work.
Remember this in life: you won’t get what you’re worth unless you ask for it.
Tony Gaskins Jr. is a husband, father, author, and professional life coach who's work has been featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Tyra Banks Show. Follow him on Twitter @TonyGaskins.