Amber Madison interviewed 1,000 men on their true feelings about love.
6 Things Men Think About Love (That May Surprise You!)
Are All Guys Jerks?
When women get together and the topic turns to men, there's always a lot of talk about what they think and do when it comes to love. Sadly, the general consensus is that men are jerks, and more likely to break your heart than to steal it. But, is this really true?What if everything you've ever been told or sad about guys has been a lie? And your approach to sex, dating, and relationships is completely wrong, because it's based on false assumptions about how men think and feel? Author Amber Madison investigated, and after grilling more than 1,000 guys in 10 different cities she learned some things that might just blow your mind. Her results can be found in her latest book "Are All Guys Assholes?", available now."The ideas we have about men are way off," says Amber. "Everything from TV shows, to commercials, to movies, to pop culture, and even a lot of dating advice centers center around this idea that guys are these emotionally void sex-seeking robots. But this just isn't true. I think that believing this about men makes them more intimidating, confuses our analysis of dating situations, and makes relationships more complicated." But wait. What exactly did Amber set off to prove? That we should give men a break? Not exactly!"I wanted to expose men for the emotional beings they really are to help women understand them better," says Madison. "Men are sensitive creatures who get their feelings hurt, feel insecure, ultimately want commitment, and care about relationships more than they care about sex. The problem is, many guys feel pressure to reflect this 'asshole guy' stereotype on the outside."We know what you're thinking. Why do men boast about being jerks? Madison says the answers simple. They believe their own hype!"My most surprising finding was that guys believe this asshole stereotype about other guys, because men put on a macho act in front of each other many believe that all guys are actually horndogs with bad intentions," Madison explains. "This means that your guy friends aren't always the best people to ask for advice about a man you're seeing—they'll often just rely on stereotypes instead of being able to give you a better insight into what your man is thinking."Intrigued yet? We were too, so we asked Madison to reveal a few more surprising things she learned about mend during her research. Read on for the mind-blowing details ladies!
Men Prefer Love Over Sex
We assume guys are on the prowl just to get laid, but in reality, they care more about companionship. 73% of guys said their primary interest in women was someone to have a long-term relationship with. 18% said their primary interest in women was short-term companionship/dating.And only 8% said they were primarily interested in sex. There is this myth that guy are “biologically driven to spread their seed” and sleep with as many different women as possible.But this is just one THEORY, not a fact.And in fact, the majority of research and most scientists don’t agree with this theory at all.Though it’s less talked about by the media, the more popular scientific theory is that men are biologically driven to pair bond and commit to one woman because that way they can better care for their offspring.
If He Wants More, He'll Ask
Ninety-nine percent of guys said they’d want to be in a relationship if the right girl came along. If a guy likes you, he’s not going to be scared to commit to you. Don’t worry about having the “what are we/where is this going” convo after you’ve been dating for a while. A guy only doesn’t want to have that talk if he isn’t serious about you and is going to give you an answer you don’t want to hear. And if that’s the case, you really should hear his feelings!
Guys Are Secretly Obssesed With Marriage
Guys aren’t as commitment-phobic as we believe them to be. Ninety-five percent said they wanted to get married some day. And in casual conversations, many would slip in comments about their “future wife,” “the one,” or even talk about getting married in conversations that had nothing to do with marriage what so ever. Sometimes guys may joke about marriage in a derogatory way so that the fellas don’t make fun of them…but the mere fact that they bring it up constantly shows that it’s something on their minds.
In "The Right Girl" Personality Matters More Than Looks
"Guys consistently say being smart, funny, and sweet are more important than looks.On a scale of 1 to 5 (not important to very important) 60% of guys gave “sense of humor” a 5, 51% gave “intelligence” a 5, and 54% gave 'being nice and caring' a 5.Meanwhile, only 30% of guys gave looks a 5.Yes, looking good is important.But it’s not as important as other things.Men want to be with women who have more to offer than just a pretty face."
They Don't Like to Be In Control
"Asking a guy out isn’t a No-No! Fifty-percent of guys said a girl asking them out was a turn on.Forty-five percent said it didn’t make a difference either way, and only 5% believed it was too aggressive. Asking a guy out shows confidence, it doesn’t scare him off. You know what also shows confidence? Speaking up in the bedroom. 83% of guys said they were happy to get instructions for what to do better in bed. Another 12% on top of that say they want to know, even though they do feel awkward about it at the time. And if your man falls in the 4% that’s not in either of those two categories, dump him!"
They're Not Always Confident
"Guys are just as freaked out and intimated by us as we are of them. On a scale from 1 (not scared at all) to 10 (crapping your pants scared), on average guys ranked their first date nervousness a 4. Even later on in relationships, guys aren’t completely confident either.Thirty-four percent aren’t telling their serious girlfriend that they love her because they’re scared and want her to say it first."
Get More Secrets
Want more insight into the mind of today’s man? Amber Madison’s book “Are All Guys Assholes?” is available now. Click here for more information!