ESSENCE.com's relationships editor Bobbi Misick signs up for another online dating site. This time, it's BlackPeopleMeet.com. She finds that sometimes online dating is easier when you narrow down your options. Here's what you had to say: LED commented: "I met my husband on Black People Meet and we have been married for almost four years and have a beautiful daughter together." The observer wrote: "I've had my ups and downs on this site. ...Patience is key and caution is always a top priority."
In my quest to shed my inner shy-girl and embrace online dating, I finally signed up for BlackPeopleMeet.com last week. Out of all the sites that I'm signing up for (four in total), I admit that I was most curious about BPM. As I've mentioned before, finding a Black man has never been a top priority for me in my quest for love. I was really curious to see what being in a pool of people who place the race of their mate at a higher importance would be like. According to Ron Worthy, Vice President of Community Development for People Media, Inc. which owns BlackPeopleMeet.com, "Black women are looking for Black men more often than not." When I spoke to Worthy, he explained that joining a niche site like BPM, where I will be desired just makes sense. "I think online, women should choose a site where they're going to find people who are interested in them." So far, it's been refreshing and validating to know that the men on that space are looking for someone like me. I also feel like their curiosity is more than skin deep, where as when sometimes when men from other races approach me on or offline, I often wonder if they're just interested in touching my afro or gaining some ethnic real estate or something. Joining BlackPeopleMeet was a lot different from joining OKCupid. It got to the point a lot faster. There were fewer questions. The questions were a lot more direct than OKCupid's and the options for what you're looking for were a lot slimmer too. At first this bothered me, but I realized it allows for a lot less BS-ing, which I can be really good at sometimes. Fewer options allow me to decide what I want quicker and stand by my decisions. A hectic work week only allowed for me to fill out my profile, upload my photos and browse a few other members. For the rest of the week I continued to get messages from BlackPeopleMeet.com alerting me of men that were interested in getting to know me. I let it rest for one week. I was pleasantly surprised at the activity my profile received over the last 7 days. After the slower response times that I experienced on OKCupid.com, the instant attention that I got on BPM was refreshing. I received 15 unsolicited e-mails from eligible bachelors in just one week. It also seems like the men on Black People Meet are a little older than the ones I've met on OKCupid so far--most of the guys that wrote to me were over 36. They also seem more serious about settling down and finding a partner, which could be why they are so much more proactive about sending e-mails and flirting online. Of the fifteen men that contacted me, three of them have peaked my interest. One is a gorgeous tall musician who wants to go to a museum with me. I think I'd like that very much. Ron Worthy's recommendations for setting up your profile BPM:
- In your profile pictures, show yourself in a variety of activities and project what you want to attract. If you're into physical fitness, show yourself working out. If you have a child, show your child.
- Avoid pictures with other guys. That's confusing to guys.
- Don't feel like you have to deceive anybody with your photos. There is somebody out there that loves you or is going to love you.
- In the essay, make sure that you are very clear. Have expectations and be really clear about what you want and what you don't want.