Ex beauty queen-turned-relationship guru Kenya Moore is doing her part to educate brothers on matters of the heart with her new book, Game: Get Some. She speaks exclusively to Essence.com
After one too many date nights spent solo, former Miss USA Kenya Moore decided to do something about her lonely evenings. In-between shooting scenes for this past summer's cinematic thriller, I Know Who Killed Me, the fledgling film star penned the relationship advice guide, Game: Get Some (Dark Horse Productions, $15.95) to help men wise up-and help women meet more quality brothers. "I noticed that so many guys don't know what they are doing when it comes to meeting women," says Moore. "So I created a book to help them so I can help us." Below, Moore dishes on men.
Essence.com: What were you experiencing on the dating scene that made you chose to stay home?
Kenya Moore: I was meeting men who were educated professionals, but they would sometimes say things that made me think, ‘Did that just come out of his mouth?' I met a man in his 40s, an Ivy League graduate with his own company who said to me, ‘I'm usually not attracted to dark-skinned women, but you are really pretty.' He thought that was a compliment. Another man tried to holler at me out of his car window like I was a street walker. I thought if these are my options, I'd rather be alone.
Essence.com: Did any of the guys you dated have game?
K.M.: I dated this guy for 3 years who was amazing. Some of the tips in the book are taken directly from what he did. I had a bad audition once and he knew I was upset. He sent me a box of brownies from my favorite place and a note saying ‘hope you feel better."
Essence.com: Let's talk about some of these assertions that you put forth in the book. You say that most men have paid for sex?
K.M.: [Laughs] It's not something that many women want to hear. I did polls and roundtables and talked to a lot of men and that's something that came up in that research. It doesn't mean they paid for prostitutes. Most men felt they were paying for sex when they bought a woman a gift or picked up the tab on dinner.
Essence.com: And you're advising guys to follow the 3-day rule for calling a woman after they meet?
K.M.: I was raised by my grandmother so I am very old-fashioned about some things. I believe men like to chase. When you take that away from them, dating isn't exciting. I also put the 3- day rule in there because men were calling too late. I had a man call me six months after we met and thought I would remember him.
Essence.com: Were you surprised by anything you discovered during your research?
K.M.: Definitely. I think men have so much less ego than we think they do. They're always asking me, ‘How can I do this or that better?' They really want to make us happy and a lot of them just don't know how.
Essence.com: We've talked about what men need to improve to make things go smoother. Can women do anything to help?
K.M.: Be honest. A woman will fight with her man about one thing, but she's not even upset about that. She's still mad about something that happened the week before. Or we're faking orgasms. I read that 70 percent of women do that. And when we do any of that, we're not being honest. Dishonesty about anything doesn't benefit the relationship or make it any easier for the guys.
Game: Get Some! can be found at your local bookstore or on www.kenyamoore.com
Photo Credit: Courtesy of Kenya Moore