On this segment of ESSENCE Live, we keep it real about pregnancy and motherhood. Three mothers spill the tea on the changes their bodies went through during pregnancy. Check out the above video.
[BLANK_AUDIO] Mother's Day is on Sunday so todays viewer poll is for the moms. Hey girls. What's the craziest change your body went through during pregnancy? Chime in now using #ESSENCELIVE and we'll read some of it on the show later on. Joining me now in the studio are some fabulous mothers. And it's fabulous. [LAUGH] No. Please welcome beauty writer and mom [UNKNOWN] Steena. Steena Campbell. Hey. Lifestyle blogger and soon to be mom of three, Simone Gittons Hey. And Essence entertainment director and mom to Gillian, Corey Murray Or as I call her, Ko-ko. Welcome, ladies. [LAUGH] Simone, we absolutely love your daughter Summer, AKA CallMeSparkle on Instagram. But you also have a son, you're expecting your third child now. Yes. What's been the best part about being a momma three, and- You said three so fast, when you read it, I said, lord, Jesus. [LAUGH] You can't turn back now. That's [INAUDIBLE]. [LAUGH] The best part is just seeing the two of them together. They're so close in age. They're 18 months apart and I'm crazy. But just seeing them interact together and just me shaping them and seeing them grow from all the stages that you see your kids grow. That's the amazing part. This pregnancy now was unexpected so it was just like Lord, Jesus>> [LAUGH] It kind of gave me a little hint. But I think, the best part is just bonding right now, I'm like bonding, already made a nickname. I'm just like, hey star, can't wait to meet you, and all that good stuff. So all the Smalls babies are stylish, so I'm sure this baby already has like a wardrobe coming up. Good question, no. So Deena, let's talk about physical change because my lord, my lord as Whitney would say. What was the biggest physical change.>> For me, so during the pregnancy it was actually pretty good, no real medical problems or anything, thank God. But I remember, it started during my second trimester, that I would just get these cramps in my legs and my legs would shake. And I was like, what's going on? It was just every morning at 3AM, I would just have these weird convulsing, I don't know, just weird, but it stopped, eventually. Okay. And you just kinda deal with it, but now I have a loving little boy that I love so much. He's so cute. Yes. So, at the end, it's like worth it. Cory what's been, but before I even go to Cory, I need you all to know that Dena has no stomach. Okay she just gave birth. [INAUDIBLE] notices you pregnant. He is eight months now so not just gave birth. And literally within a month your stomach was gone. But Corey did you experience any changes? First of all I have a spank on. I have several spanks. I do too. [CROSSTALK] My biggest change during pregnancy, thankfully I was pretty good pregnancy like yours, But it was around 14 weeks I was walking and had these excruciating pains. I took myself to the hospital cuz I was freaking out. And I remember the doctor say, you know what, yeah it feels like a knife is cutting you, and I think yes. She said that's normal. Cuz basically she said, what was happening was the pelvis was expanding for child birth. And I was like, she goes, yes, pretty common. I was like, what is this pain in though? So it was kinda cool to know that while your body, my body was getting ready To, for this. For the delivery. Wow. Yeah. So let's talk about snap back which most of us hate and I don't know about you, Simone. But Miss. Dinah over here is the queen of snap backs. My gosh. So a lot of celebrity moms always parade their snap backs. Sometimes as soon as two weeks after giving birth. I mean, Janet is going back on tour. Tour, less than a year after giving birth, I have my reservations about that, but it is Janet, and I know she's a grown-ass woman. [LAUGH] But let's talk about, is that unrealistic, the whole snapback culture? I think it's not unrealistic. It just depends on the way you treat your body during the pregnancy. Each pregnancy, also, is different. You have different cravings. Like now, I'm doing pretty good, I only gained maybe Ten or 12 pounds but I've spread. So it also the inches that I don't think people take into consideration. But if they snap back fine with them, I don't think I'm going to snap back all the way. But when I get there I'll get there it's not, it's not that deep. I remember reading I forgot which mommy book I read but they were saying that a lot of snap back is depending on how you looked before, before you were pregnant. Like, so you can't have this. Expectation that you are about to to look like Heidi Klum after she gave three kids, well you didn't look like Heidi Klum before, I mean no shame, but you know what I mean, you know, I know how you feel, I mean I feel that way too like I want my stomach flat, but my stomach really wasn't flat before I got pregnant, so. But you know it, honestly, sometimes your body just won't go back, and that's okay. Yeah. That is okay. Everyone is so fixated on snapping back but It's okay if it doesn't. As long as you're healthy, you're eating well, your doctor says you're okay to work out. You're fine, that's okay. Yeah, sure. Just relax. So we also talk about physical changes. But there's also a lot of mental changes that women go through after giving birth. And some of us don't wanna talk very openly about Post-partum depression. We can talk about anxiety, but post-partum depression is not something that- Yeah. People feel very comfortable sharing. I just wanna know did any, did you, how do you approach that, the whole topic, and did you experience similar to that? Definitely, that for me, especially with my first one, I was a new mom and new wife within two or three months. So my husband knew don't do it, don't do it. Try me not even tomorrow, maybe next month, let's try again next month. So I think it's okay as long as you own it and you tell people and people respect it and help you I think it's completely fine. The moms who hide it and act like everything is fine but they're breaking down. The babies diaper's falling over, they're falling over. Just be honest with where you are. Yeah, I definitely experienced it maybe two weeks into it. Like I was just like, this is not my life. Like what have I done. My breasts were engorged because my milk came in. I just was trying to heal. It was awful. And I was just depressed for like a good two weeks. And then you just get like you snap back. Yeah. [LAUGH] Out of it and you just kinda move forward, but I was really. [INAUDIBLE] Unless you didn't have postpartum depression but I had it like partly when she got around 2 or 4 years old just the challenges of being like I'm sort of a single mom so those challenges. There be plenty of time, I would just have to turn away and just be crying in my kitchen because something wasn't working out well One big challenge was I was breastfeeding but I wasn't producing enough milk and I really was like I'm going to breastfeed my baby and my mother was like, "Open that formula, she's going to be fine." And she was. But I did have that meltdown in the kitchen like "I'm not doing the best for my child", I felt that way. There's nothing worse than formula guilt. Cause those babies, I mean, anyway. We do want, I do want to get a little intimate, and talk about the cooch, post baby. Let's talk about sex after having given birth. It's quite a transition. It's painful. My god. I was trying to be informative. I mean, it is painful. Talk about knives cutting you? I was like, why do women still have sex when they're pregnant [INAUDIBLE]? Why is this a thing? Is there a time limit you want to set after giving birth? Well, you think? Doctors say six weeks or whatever. I felt like I needed two months. You start after a while, but I'm like don't. This is painful. Clearly, it was different for me, because actually [UNKNOWN] [LAUGH] They're eight months apart, that's enough for me. My husband's going to watch and say you were talking too much today. [LAUGH] But, it wasn't bad for me. It was awful for me. I just felt weird. I just felt like It just, I don't know, I was just thinking about the baby, and I was breastfeeding. And it was like, when he was trying to go down here, it was like, [SOUND] don't touch those! [LAUGH] Now that used to be my favorite thing, but then, for that minute, it wasn't. So I was like, it was a lot of mental Mental games that I had to play. Like, no I'm still pre-Cory. I'm pre-baby Cory. My goodness. See, I do want to ask you about balancing family. I mean, SJ is, like, eight months old [INAUDIBLE] Yeah, like, working mom and I'm actually launching my own beauty and mommy blog this weekend. Beauty and the Boys for Mother's Day weekend. So, really excited. But just, like, just dealing with that is challenging because especially when you go back to To work, you're like, okay, I'm back. I'm ready, I'm ready. But then you're like, I'm [UNKNOWN], like I just want to sleep. So just dealing with that. And then you get home and then it's like you still want to bond with him. So it was really challenging. But I just remember something that Oprah said awhile ago. She's like, you know what? Sometimes you're gonna be an awesome mom and sometimes you're gonna be an awesome Yeah. Working moms, so. Figure it out. [BLANK_AUDIO]