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How To: “Always Be Flirting” With Abiola Abrams

Love coach Abiola Abrams explains her “always be flirting” philosophy for women.

SHOW TRANSCRIPT

[MUSIC] A phrase that I hear used all the time, and I know you use, you love to use it as well is always be flirting, ABF. Yeah, well you. Tell me what that's about. Well I use it as well because I can wind it. [LAUGH]. That's yours? That's mine. That's 100% yours, [CROSSTALK] and it's everywhere. I see that used everywhere [CROSSTALK]. And they can trace it back to you so the first time in my intimacy You heard it here first. Intervention column at Essence.com, ABF. Absolutely. Always Be Flirting. And I got that from, you know, in the Wall Street, the old Wall Street movie where they said always be closing. Mm. You know, when their Wall Street rule and so I was like okay, for women who are, you know, wanting to enjoy themselves and may be available. Right. Always be flirting. Now do you talk a lot about a lot about that in the book? I, in The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self Love, here's how I define flirting. Yeah. That flirting is enjoying who you are. Hm. In the company of someone else, and so when I say always be flirting, I'm flirting with you right now. Absolutely. [LAUGH] I'm flirting with our camera man right now. That flirting is just saying hey I enjoy being me. Right. You know, and and- You have to feel that. Yes, it gives people permission to feel comfortable around you. It gives people permission to be themselves around you. Right And that's where people get confused. That we think, Charlie, that flirting is a bad word and it means, you know, somehow, you know I don't know running outside- Right. Naked and trying to pick up people or something crazy. Right. You're just putting yourself totally out there- Yeah. And not getting anything back. No, what you're getting back is just the joy of just being you. Just enjoying who you are, putting on your hot red dress and just being like hello world here I am. And it's practice. It is practice. Constant practice. It's constant practice. And let me just ask you a question. Sure, sure. For anything, whether you're hiring a new employee or making a new friend, or whatever it is. Who's more interesting to you? Someone who seems mean and closed and shutdown? Or, or, or somebody who's faking the funk? Or somebody who's genuinely happy to be themselves? If I feel their energy, I absorb that. Yes. And that's really what you're doing. Yes. You're putting out that positive energy. Yes. And you're hoping that the person you're into, everyone's getting it all day. Yes. But you're hoping that will also attract maybe a future- Yeah. Mr. Right, a soul mate, a suitor, a potential suitor we won't ask for too much. Yes and you haven't lost anything yet like you said earlier that if, if this ends up not being your Mr. Right, then it's practice. It's practice. Yeah. And practice makes perfect. And practice makes perfect. [LAUGH] We think about that with work and school but we don't think about that with dating or flirting. Right. Because we're, there's so much anxiety around it to begin with. Yes. You know, so always be flirting ladies. Always be flirting. Always. And we want to just release the anxiety around it. There's no need for anxiety. [MUSIC]