[BLANK_AUDIO] Baby-nup agreement. Is that what we're talking about right now? Is that a real, real thing? Excuse me, we send baby pics to each other and talk about babies all the time. Did Phaedra draw this up? No, well, no, she's actually not. Come on, now really, did Phaedra In favor of any of this. This is not saying I will not marry. This is only saying, if a baby happens before we get married, we have this in place, that's all. Sunday's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was an interesting one. If you've been watching this season, you know that Porsha Williams has been talking about having a baby with her new boyfriend Todd. But, she wants him to sign a baby nup before she gets pregnant, which will stipulate all his responsibilities as a co-parent. So, today's viewer's poll is this. Would you have a co-parenting agreement or "baby nup" before getting pregnant? Use #essencelive to vote and we'll read the results later in the show. [MUSIC] Joining us right now via Skype is family law attorney Crystal Holmes who can share some insight on this topic. Welcome to the show Crystal. Thank you for having me.>> Great. Can you tell us exactly what is a baby-nup? And is this even a correct legal term Well, as Portia's boyfriend asked, is this a real, real thing? [MUSIC] No it's not I'm you have to be really careful when parties decide they have babies and they're not married because you can't you can't contract things such as visitation and custody. And even child support in that manner. If you do, you can always write down an agreement and, of course, I encourage clients to try to agree to as many things as they can. But if you do, you might find out later that a lot of those terms in this baby nup Are not gonna be enforceable in a court of law. Now is a baby nup a better option than child support or can you have both? No, it's not a better option. Because if you agree in a baby nup to child support, it's not enforceable. So if that A non custodial parent doesn't follow their obligations and pay the child support for this baby nup. You're kind of left out in the wind. You will have to go to the court. Okay, so we saw a portion on Real house of Atlantis struggle to get her boyfriend to sign the baby nup. How do you approach a man about this? and what should his reaction be about moving forward? Basically, how do you go about legally co-parenting the child you're about to have? Right. It's a hard thing. Now of course a baby nup would be similar to I guess what you would know as a prenuptial agreement. And if parties are planning on getting married, they can put certain things that relate to a baby in a prenup. For example, who's going to be responsible for the medical expenses in giving birth to this child, for example? But when it comes to, like I said, custody and visitation, that's a different story. Moms and dads just need to try to come together and talk about these things before the baby comes, that's always great. But once the baby is born, you need to take that additional step in drafting a formal agreement, that can then be turned into a court order. That will address your child support, and will address your custody and visitation issues. We read a story in the Guardian Leah Hunter wrote, about how she and her partner did not want to have child support. Do you advise women against it, if you supposedly have a good relationship with your partner? [MUSIC] Well, you know, you don't have to go to the courts if you don't need to. If you have a great relationship with your partner and you trust them, you don't need to go to the court. However, understand that in order to have child support awarded you will have to go to a court. Now you can always come to the table and agree and do an agreement, but it will have to become a court order. OK, now I am assuming that the law already covers responsibility for children in marriage but should engaged women get a baby-nup too? Engaged women probably should have some sort of document that outlines what the responsibility are going to be, not necessarily for the children or the potential child But how are we going to deal with costs for the baby and those types of things. But like I said, understand as far as visitation, and custody, and child support, that's not going to be legally enforceable. So let's hope, assuming they don't get married, they need to understand that, that document is not going to help them necessarily in a court of law. It can be used as evidence But it's not something that's gonna be enforceable. In your practice have you ever had a client come to you with this idea with a Baby-Nup? Yeah they want to know what can they do. A lot of times one party has cut off the other party. Someones pregnant They won't speak to them, and there's really not much you can do in that scenario, but wait until the baby is born and address it with the court. But yes, people do come and, like I explain to them, just like I'm explaining on this show right now, you can't really put provisions involving custody. Visitation, or limiting child support in this kind of document. Okay, Crystal, thank you so much for joining us. Kayla, what are folks saying about this on social? People are very, very passionate. So, Monica Shannon says, no, it's ridiculous, it's like you're planning for the worst. You should always do it, but if you're that immature and insecure, you don't have any business trying to have a baby with someone. Debbie Thomas says why? It's called child support. Tonya Arrington says, he better think it through, because Portia is not the brightest. Cheryl Beecher says, yes, I want an agreement, these men run off most of the time. Clapping hands emoji. Charmaine Nobel says, this is so bonkers. Why not just find a man who wants you forever, marry him, and the have the babies? So mixed bag. [BLANK_AUDIO]

Mar, 30, 2017

You May Like