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This Week, ESSENCE Live Is All About S-E-X!

On this edition of "Kitchen Table Talk," we ease our discussion into all things sex — from sexual deal breakers to one night stands. Check it out on this episode of ESSENCE Live. 

SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Today on Essence Live, our kitchen table talk series is back and we're talking all about sex, what's your freak number, what is your sexual deal breakers, and are one nite stands still a little taboo? We've got special guests some drinks and some tasty bytes from our chef, get ready because this is a conversation you do not want to meet, Essence Live starts now [MUSIC] Welcome to Essence Live's Kitchen Table Talk series. I'm your host Dana Blair Of course we always want to hear from you. Sounds off on today's topics, on social media, but keep it cute, keep it clean. Use the hashtag essencelive or you can e-mail us at essenelive@essence.com. In the kitchen with me today are some very special guests, please welcome journalist and marketing consultant Mr Mac, how are you? Hey hey what's happening. Co host of the breakfast club Ms Angela Yee. Hey. Host of Sports Illustrated, SI Wire, Tony Anderson. And author and founder of [UNKNOWN] and Cecil World. Miss Demetria Lucas Doiley. Hello everyone. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome. We also have chef Julio behind me. M, M, cooking up some tasty treats and a special sweet potato vodka from the Empower Cocktail company. So you know it's about to get real interesting up in here. All right, we're going to jump right into it. We're talking about sex, there's no way to ease into this. What makes- [LAUGH] You like what I did there? What makes sex Good and just, all right Demetria. Shoot from the hip. Talk more about it, let's go. No, I mean, I just thought that was the answer everyone would give. I mean, everyone needs a good warm up, and using your tongue where necessary is good for that. Do both parties have to reciprocate? I think if you're gonna give you should receive, yes. Okay, all right. I'm gonna say chemistry I think chemistry, I know this is not such a popular answer, but when you have a good chemistry with somebody it's like a dance, a naked dance with two people. A naked dance, with two people, okay. It's like a naked dance, or more, depending on how you get down. Right I think mutual attraction is super important and great conversation. You know, is always important to me. I agree. Matt? I say pay attention. I think definitely watching what your partner is doing, watching what they're saying, trying to listen for signals. Like really communicate without speaking. Right. And what they don't like. [INAUDIBLE] don't do this don't come in there. A lot of people are just gonna do what the hell they want to do. She may not even tell you but if she's breathing hard at one thing you're doing and then she kind of sighs at the other thing you're doing go back to the first thing you were doing. You have to be able to talk too because sometimes we don't want to say I don't like that or can you do this? We have to be able to have fun with it, cuz I think sex should be fun also. It shouldn't always be like, I don't wanna say this. I don't wanna seem weird. You should always be able to say, okay, that didn't really work for me but you know what, I love when you do this, and just being positive about it. Do you think that's like the maturity and experience thing? Cuz I feel like when I was in college there were some things I wouldn't have really said. Now like, look. Looking here. That's not how you say it, it's not how you saw, though. A closed mouth don't give head, literally. Lord. I said it- [CROSSTALK] the right way, I think you, cuz like, I really loved it when you did XYZ. You wanna stroke the ego, you don't want somebody to be like, well I didn't like this, and I didn't like that, and I didn't like this. But what about when you do stuff that you need to know some type of confirmation, like I won't just put my thumb in your ****, because that's something you should ask, or... Yes. Yes. No no no. [APPLAUSE] I don't think you should ask that because if you say to someone, can I put my thumb in your ****. You can't just say yeah, you just try to do it. If they seem cool with it. Then you keep going. No. Okay. You just do it. It's the level of communication that I'm talking about. Is she squirming away from your thumb, retract it bro. Get up out of there. For everything but I feel like if a thumb in the ****, it's kind of like, off center. You might need to ask but okay. But that's a weird question to ask. I think sometimes you cheat yourself if you ask a question because people, when you ask, think too hard about it. If you just try to do it and they're like I never though I would like this. If you ask me I'm gonna be like no, I don't think I would like that. But if you just try to do it I'm like this isn't so bad. No you got to ask him about that. [CROSSTALK] Could you be at dinner like so, [INAUDIBLE] I could do that? You're talking about someone that's putting their **** inside of you, you should be able to have a conversation with them about Well if you figure the **** is going into function, be that big of a deal. Is the **** going in there? Depending on where you like and I like whatever she likes. I'm down for whatever she's happy with, whatever she's comfortable with, I'm trying it. I like to be good, giving and game. So if she's into it I'm down to give it a shot, if I've never done it before I'm down to ask some questions, I don't like asking questions over dinner. I don't want to discuss anal while I'm having a steak. It's fun to have sexy conversations, but not like. I'd rather do it in the moment, I'd rather it come across in the moment. I have to ask though, can you take criticism in the moment, fellas? Can he take criticism? Guide me. I'm grown. [INAUDIBLE] but in the moment. [INAUDIBLE] I'm willing to be guided. Like if you tell me I like it this way, I don't like it that. I am willing to adjust because if you don't get off I'm not happy. Right you can't be like just Just wish your **** was bigger. Now you... [LAUGH] There's nothing you can do about that. Hallmark don't have a card. Well. They don't have a card. Can I get some more? No. [CROSSTALK] If you have the things we've already described. If you have chemistry. If you have communication. If you have a partner that's really connecting with you. It doesn't take that many words, you don't have to say I don't like it when you do this. A simple [SOUND] and that's all I need to hear [CROSSTALK] we don't need a lot of, don't need a whole [UNKNOWN] I don't need you giving me a [UNKNOWN] just tell me a couple [UNKNOWN] The right partner can be very in tune and that's where the chemistry and conversation. Right. But when you're with a new partner who doesn't really know exactly what's going on, you kinda have to be more verbal. Emotions, is there a difference between making love or just screwing somebody, just hooking up with somebody. Absolutely, completely, absolutely. Does it feel different, is there a preference? Yes, yes, yes, yes. It feels different, there is a preference, depending on where you are in your life, I think depends on what kind of sex you're in the mood for. If you Just got out of a relationship, you're not looking to feel nothing deep with nobody. You're just looking to go deep with somebody. So let's just get it popping and call it a day. If you're in a place where you're open and receptive to that kind of thing, companionship from somebody, I really like this person, she really likes me. Making love is a different thing. It. Takes longer [UNKNOWN] you're not rushing through it, yeah, you're more interested [CROSSTALK] [LAUGH] I think there's absolutely a difference between one and the other Difference between karaoke and- What do you prefer? Depends, right now, I'd prefer to make love than have sex. He's so sweet. Okay. But, but, that doesn't mean that the person I'm in love with I'm not trying to just go up- Just get it in. Exactly, a brother need a hot pocket sometimes. You just got to- Did he say a hot pocket? He did say a hot pocket. Because not everything can be a three course meal. I got to go to work You gotta get up, hey let's get this [INAUDIBLE] Ladies what are your thoughts on this? Love making versus jumping off or screwing off however. I think, first of all I love being in a monogamous relationship, that's always fun to me because I feel more secure like that. But I think I always prefer making love, even if you're doing it quick, it's still making love. My favorite thing to do is To have sex and lay around and cuddle, I love cuddling after. So just laying an egg, that's what you're saying, like just leave it in afterwards. No. [LAUGH] [CROSSTALK] It was heavily implied, it was heavily applied. That is not what she said. Dimitrius, save Tony from himself. It depends on the moment or the day, I'm married, we do not experiment, do all the things we'll never do till we got married so got it. [CROSSTALK] [CROSSTALK] Can you give us an example? No. I got to ask, I mean I got to lead a panel. I appreciate it. But we're gonna hold this conversation right here for just one second, Tony can sip some of your juice, chef Julio. Yes ma'am. My love muffin, what do you have What are you preparing for us over thre?>> I've got some lovely [UNKNOWN] that are coming out right now. Some [UNKNOWN] Okay, it smells good back there, all right so [UNKNOWN]. There are some onions and pepper at the middle. You said onions peppers now how did you prepare the [UNKNOWN] I seared it on the low heat, a little bit of sour pepper for its garlic Parsley and then I seared off the peppers, onions and the cherry tomatoes off at the same time. Now, is this something that I can make easily at home- Absolutely. If I find me a boo that doesn't eat meat and I'm trying to attract him? Absolutely. Okay. It only takes about Ten minutes. Okay. Awesome, thank you so much, Chef [UNKNOWN] Everyone, you can dig in. Okay. Have some [UNKNOWN] Thank you so much. We're gonna have one more dish a little bit later on, right? Absolutely. Okay, don't go anywhere. We have more Kitchen Table Talk Essence Live Sex Edition coming up next. Hey, it's comedian Roy Wood Jr. I'm here to help you get fly for this year's Essence Festival with the help of Ellarie and she does these wonderful, informative, detailed makeup tutorials. And she's been kind enough to let me do a little voiceover work To walk y'all through exactly what's happening on the screen. So, first thing you want to do, pin your hair back, your kid's going to come in and you're going to check her homework. All right, their homework look good, go on back and study. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. You've got to bond with your Kids. The thing about it is you just nod and make your kid think you're listening to them. You give a little kiss. Now, we start with the eyebrows. Eye brow is very important, now you gotta do both eyebrows cuz you don't wanna look like you're thinking about something. Okay, so that's like a wedge. That's like a edge up, hell, I need one of those. Man I have a tight air draft, if I had an air draft pencil, where do you get [INAUDIBLE] Is that what it's called? I don't even know what it's called. Okay, so now we've got, okay what's going on here. what in the world Then you're gonna tickle your nose. Tickle your nose on both sides. Tickle your nose bridge. Then you tickle down by the nostrils. And then you pat. Now that thing is evening some stuff out. Yeah, that's contouring. See, I know that work. [SOUND] What is all, she is doing a lot of work this is good. Use your dominant hand to put make up on. Cuz otherwise one half of your face is liable to look sad. And everybody gonna be asking you what's wrong and what's going on in your life. Where'd the towel come from? Okay, so now we've got to wrap the towel to spray the face to keep the stuff from being on the hair. She's gotta be very gentle. You gotta be very gentle. It's like one centimeter off and you can make yourself blind. You be blind but beautiful. You just gotta have a steady hand. So now we're putting on the eyelashes. So that's, that's, now we getting into the home Home stretch here you see the skin is smooth, you got the eyeliner going, you got them eyelashes popping, yeah. You know you've got swag look it. Swag, swag, swag. Okay it's time for lips now that's the most important part the lips are important. You watch a video like this and it really makes you appreciate what a woman go through. To look gorgeous. [MUSIC] This is a lot of work this video man all I do is wash my face and boom you done. That's it. Now if you want the real deal from Ellery herself Check out the beauty carnival at the Beauty and Style Expo, you can register by downloading the Essence Fest app, now. [MUSIC] You're watching Essence Live, I'm your host Dana Blair and for today's kitchen table talk we're discussing good old fashion sex What makes it good, what makes it bad, and how much do you want it? Joining me at the table are, journalist and marketing consultant Mr. Mac. Hey. The Breakfast Club's, Angela Yee, SI Wires Tony Anderson, and journalist and author Demetria L. D'oyley. And Chef Julio's also here cooking up some goodies for us, we have drinks provided by the Empower Cocktail Company, and they are delicious Honey. So we're gonna keep sipping, keep chatting. We're gonna jump right back into more talk about sex. Now once you're having sex with a partner, on a pretty consistent basis, whether it's a boyfriend, a consistent side boo, a spouse. Whatever the case may be. How do you keep things spicy? Threesome. A threesome, a threesome, a threesome. Okay, well that kinda just, he just jumped over the consistent partner. No, you have to have a consistent partner in order to have the proper threesome in a relationship. What if she's not into threesomes? Well, you figure something else out. It could be a threesome with anything else. It doesn't have to be. The object of when you're having a proper threesome in a relationship, the third partner is not considered an equal partner. In other words, if it's a woman, I'm speaking from my own perspective. You can't be as concerned about her as you are with your girlfriend. It can't be did you get off, or you have an, are you okay? She's just there for sex. She's there for your enjoyment, she's the same thing as that sex toy that That, those velvet handcuffs, the rope, all that good stuff. She's the same thing as that. So,- Well, I've never done that, but from what I hear, cuz I know plenty of people who have, when you have a threesome the rule is the woman gets to make the rules. So she gets to pick the woman. She gets to tell you what you can and can't do. Sometimes you'll say no penetration or you can't do this, you can't do that. So whatever the woman wants to do, if you're a man, you have to be okay with that and let the woman feel comfortable. [MUSIC] Yeah. It's the truth. I mean, no, that. I've heard people say that threesomes go very wrong. That's because someone in the situation didn't take all parties into account. One, it's normally a guy and that guy has had to have two girlfriends. You're not having two girlfriends. And that's why the women should. If she allows you to do that she should make the rules. Now I see two guys and a woman, a threesome. It's the exact same thing, but it depends on your partner. It depends on how you get down. Would you like your girlfriend ask, well say okay we can have a threesome but it has to be a dude? I'll tell you exactly why that won't work for me specifically. I'm not into men. [LAUGH] So what else can you do to keep it spicy then, other than a threesome? We mentioned toys. Roleplay. Roleplay's a good one. Movies are good, make a film. I like that. Make a film. [CROSSTALK] [CROSSTALK] People get angry and films come out. You delete it afterwards. This is a person you just met. [CROSSTALK] You don't trust your husband? I trust my husband but no we don't film. Then put it on your phone. [CROSSTALK] Have we learned nothing from the iCloud? Exactly. Nah you delete it immediately after. really good if you have a camera and you set it up and connect it to the TV so you can watch yourself while you do it. Yeah and you don't record it actually, so you see it, damn you just found a loop hole. Yeah it's a loop hole. Problem solved there you go. To keep it spicy what do you do? You can do that. You can make some food. I mean I like some role play, I like the soldier coming home from the war. Okay, very passionate. You wear costumes? What about public sex then? Like airports and things like that? I'm all for it. To keep it, keep it. Now I know that's exciting for some people. I wouldn't do that in an airport. I'm a germophobe also. The beach, maybe. There's sand, there's a lot of sand [INAUDIBLE] towels. And also a nice trip like a vacation. There's nothing like vacation sex. When you go away and have sex in a different environment. Is the sex better in a relationship or when you're single. It depends on the person. Yeah, it depends on the, I'm gonna say relationship, because you know what they like, they know what you like. So I think it's apples and oranges to a degree,- Yeah. But if I had to pick, I would pick in a relationship. I would in a good relationship. Yeah. Because sometimes people are in a terrible relationship and they hate having, I know people who have been in relationships and haven't had sex in months. Some people even over a year. So you know, that's a difficult situation. They're arguing all the time, there's too much emotion, and that makes it difficult. So it just depends on what you're looking for at that time. I think if you're in a great relationship then the sex can be great. Me, personally, there's nothing better than a vagina I can Can trust. Now, if I can trust it, we're gonna have the best sex ever. If I could trust it, I know where it's been. I watched it when I walked in. I'm gonna see when it leaves out. [UNKNOWN] [LAUGH] Then I'm gonna shoot you, I'm all here for you. That's [UNKNOWN] up. [UNKNOWN] ask you because you're the married person here at the table. Does it change? [UNKNOWN] doesn't change. So People don't notice until you get married, you don't feel married for like the first year and change. Like you know you're married, you see the ring blah, blah, blah but it's not like you walk around thinking I'm married, I'm married. It's just like Monday happened and then Tuesday happened. Yeah. Do you feel like people make as much effort too? Cuz I've been told this. When people move in together, sometimes we don't make the same effort that we used to make. It's not like- You get comfortable. Yeah, you get comfortable. Your wearing your bonnet to bed, and you're not- Your granny draws to up to here. You're wearing your old pajamas. Your man is- My mother was very clear on that. Like when we first started dating she was like, don't do anything that you don't wanna keep doing. So he saw the body, he saw the head wrap. [LAUGH] That's true. The holy sweat so this wasn't like anything strange by the time we moved in together. Cause he knew what he was getting. It's more spontaneous I think though, When you get married? I tried to make more effort when he was coming over, I wanted to cook and I wanted to do candles. Tofu. And now it's just like watching. That Amazon stick, and next thing you know [LAUGH] Let's go to bed. Not even the bed. [LAUGH] On the counter, even, on the sofa. There you go. All right. Don't make it to the bed. Don't make it to the bed. Well, keep sipping. Keep noshing. We're going to keep the conversation going after a quick break. Plus I still wanna hear from you. If you're watching us on Facebook Live, post your comments or just weigh in using the hashtag #EssenceLive. We'll be right back with more of Essence Live's Kitchen Table Talk series, all about sex. To me being woke means that you recognize that the world is not a simple place, that everything is not all equal, that justice has not happened yet for everyone. And that there is a lot of work to be done [MUSIC] Your eyes are wide open, and you're paying attention. And you're reaching out and speaking to people along the way. And bringing them on, and to increase the amount of wokeness in your community. Being woke is like eyes wide open, everything is clear. You can always see things that other people Can just ignore or they just don't know. Well for me just being outraged all the time. Being able to stay human and feel outraged about injustice that is happening around me. It's being uncomfortable all the time and making sure that I'm speaking on behalf of those who can't speak up for themselves. Some people know what's happening around them but they are not doing anything. They're just like- Right. Well it is what it is. Yeah. That's not what woke means. That you actually take it upon yourself. To be like this is something I need to fix [UNKNOWN] part of the solution. [UNKNOWN] thing is to do that, knowing that you can fix it whatever your level of platform is. There's always an opportunity for you to do just a little something to support them. I also think about What words actually mean and how we give them power. Right. Are you just gonna wear it across your chest but actually not live it out or are you gonna give this word a meaning with your actions, with your daily commitment. And I think in order for us to really progress, we're gonna really need people to really step out of their comfort zones and have those uncomfortable conversations and not just Live a in a space where they get to preach to people who already understand what it means. Yeah, couldn't agree more. I think to be woke means that you are aware of the issues and the world around you. I believe it means that you are engaged in the work of justice. This is the time where we just, we can't avoid to be asleep. We have to be all the way alert. Without action on the knowledge that we have now, our world will never change and we need that more than ever. [MUSIC] You're watching SS Live. And today's kitchen table talk is dedicated to sex, making love, letting that freak flag fly, all of that. I'm your host Dana Blair, and I'm joined by Mr. Mack Absolutely. Angela Yi, Tony Anderson, and Dmitri Lucas-Doyling. And shout-out to Chef Julio back there in the kitchen, getting it in. Okay, so now let's talk a little bit more about New Sex. Specifically how long should you wait to have sex after meeting someone new? Ladies I'm gonna start with you cuz these guys [UNKNOWN] I mean I think you can't really put a number on it, it depends on the situation, I know people who had sex with somebody the first time that they went out and they ended up being in a relationship, getting married and all of that I know people who waited and it doesn't work out, I think it just depends on the vibe and if it feels right. You could meet somebody, spend the whole entire day with them on a vacation and then end up having sex and spending the whole week with them, and never talk to them again. Or you could end up having a relationship, you just never know. It depends on where that person is at. Makes you feel good in here. Right and not being Being judged about it. You kinda do what you want, and be safe about it. Exactly. What's your thoughts, Demetria? No, I mean, I think it depends on what you're looking for. We have this idea that women always want relationships, and sometimes they just want ****. Hello! So if that's what you're interested in, whether it's one night or one year, whatever, it doesn't really make a difference. But I think if you're trying to build a relationship with someone, it Might be in your favor to wait until there's an emotional connection involved. Right, you just never know. I personally would rather we've had some conversations, had a couple of dates. I know you somewhat because sex is also about trust somewhat. So I wanna feel like I at least know you a little bit. Okay but people have known people for years and you can't trust. Right. So I don't know You know what I mean? There's people in marriages that found out stuff about their partners I think that we should stop the sledgehammer. Women should be allowed to do the same thing as men do. Man. Well they clearly do, because the men [CROSSTALK] somebody. That's what I'm saying. These are the women that'll be judged for it. They should most certainly not be judged and then they should follow me on Twitter and Instagram. [LAUGH] No, do not follow [UNKNOWN] on Twitter and Instagram. [CROSSTALK] Do not. [INAUDIBLE] Let's see if your numbers go up. That's your theory. [INAUDIBLE] numbers don't go up. [INAUDIBLE] they may not be on social. [LAUGH] But all jokes aside I do think to you're point there is no real time limit. Do you guys look at women differently though if you have sex with here like honestly, do you say okay, I had sex with her the first night I can't take here seriously, does she do this with everybody do you even think about that cuz I can't imagine it doesn't go- That is for guys with low self esteem, I hate you when you do say stuff like that,she did it with me she'll do it with anybody, I've never understood that mentality in my life, first of all I'm not anybody I feel like if she does that with me, I'm the exception to the rule. Since I'm not going to say this is an everyday behavior. And if you think that because she did it with you, she'll did it with anybody. Well what are you saying about yourself? You're everybody all of the sudden. Like all of the sudden, you're no good. You're regular [UNKNOWN]. Completely across the board. And she could have did this with the next guy. No, how about what if you were special? What if she saw something and she decided to do this. With you specifically. Do you care about the number of partners that someone's had? Not the number of partners, but I do care about experience. I'm not here for any virgins, you must be this tall to ride the ride. This is not class. So if a girl says she a virgin. When it's over? Then we probably not gonna have the kind of chemistry that I need to keep this thing going in the bedroom. Chemistry and experience, I don't think, are synonymous. No, they don't have to be. But again, I'm hedging my bets. I'd rather be safe than sorry. And quite frankly, I believe in the campfire rule. Which is you leave it in as good of shape Were better shape that you found it. It [UNKNOWN] with me as a virgin, I'm not sure, just don't have it. [LAUGH] So you might wanna get started some place else and I'll catch you tomorrow night when you're ready. Mix way he put it down. [UNKNOWN] what are your thoughts? I'm just talking. What are you talking about? It's not about him, leaving his camp fire. I'm talking about Experience. Do you care how many partners someone has had that you've been with? I mean, at this age. Like, I'm in my mid 30s. You had a past, you had college, you had all of your 20s. Like you've been in relationships. [CROSSTALK] Don't want to hear about it. Yeah, I don't want to keep hearing about it. [CROSSTALK] Ran a train. [CROSSTALK] It's not what you do it's how you do it. See what I'm saying? To me the difference between a ho and not is not how many people you're with but how you carry yourself. If you had sex with a lot of people-- [INAUDIBLE] You know what I mean? If you had sex with a lot of people, but you carried yourself in a certain way, your business This wasn't all out there, but if you got videos all on the internet with a whole bunch of different people and everybody knows about it. [CROSSTALK] If you were in too close quarters, if I'm the homie, and he's my homie, and this is my homie [CROSSTALK] If you sleep with somebody's husband Or somebody's man. Then that's the only thing. Other than that, if you wanna put your videos out and that's your thing, and you own it, go ahead. But that's you, do what you wanna do. Amongst crew, I'll tell you guy code. If it's me and my homeboys and we all are crew, and you got with me, then you got with him, then you got, okay, we're gonna talk about it. But [INAUDIBLE] You got. No, no. We just shared her. We just [INAUDIBLE]. But if she came through and got that going, then okay, we're going to talk about it. I don't know if that's considered **** shaming or not. But we might need to know that. Homie, you kind of, okay, well I was and he kind of so [CROSSTALK] And she lookin at you like- Can I also point out how unattractive that is. When you talk about women with guys [CROSSTALK] every time I go out we're running into one of your ex's or some chick you used to knock down or you know somebody who knows somebody and they're like yeah I liked it when you used to, I don't want to hear that about my man Either so guys gotta be, what's the world, selective. With their P. That's not true. If [UNKNOWN] elbow was in here you'd be like he look like he been with a whole lot of women. But if you were attracted to women he probably be like she's probably only been with [UNKNOWN] I don't even think about that. I don't think about that either. When I look at a time, every time we time we go out you're right. You've been with every girl, every where we went, that's not attractive to me, and I'm being honest for women we don't like that and especially if I feel like you don't have standards and I'm like okay [CROSSTALK] And it's like a bunch of busted chicks in your background [CROSSTALK] You messing with a whole bunch of chicks and put a level ray jay then no, it's probably not a good look. Stop it. But I'm just saying, if you look at the thorough dudes, the Idris Elba's, the Tracers, whoever is the popular dude, you just gonna have to know that they probably got a lot of- No but [CROSSTALK] you need to understand, yo are not Idris Elba. You can't apply. Your life, Thank you That y'all getting those top notch fellas. I don't know like- No, no but the thing is this though, wait. Top notch fellas, they are going to come with a lot of body. But wait, before [CROSSTALK]. They're not dead. They are people. Thank you. They're woman. They're people. They're living. Matris is right. Also too a lot times you guys think y'all just smashing the hottest chick in the world and she's crossed eyed and she's not that cute I'm just saying. [LAUGH] Anyway, on that note. [CROSSTALK] Let know. Let know. [CROSSTALK] For us. What's the chef got for us. Why don't you show them my love. We have some very tasty sliders here. Dang.>>>What can you tell me about these sliders?>>> These are flank steak sliders. Flank steak.>>>With some arugula on the bottom and some spice I made to top it off with. Amazing if you cook them medium well. Not too well because then it will taste like rubber. This also takes about fifteen to twenty minutes to make. Not that much time at all. Wait, Chef Julio. Before you disappear on me. Now how do you know you cooked it medium well and it doesn't taste like the bottom of my shoe? Well, when you're cooking it what you wanna do is look at the bottom of the pan at the excess juice. If the excess juice is still a little bit red, then it's perfect to taste. Ooh, all right. All right everybody, dig on in. Don't go anywhere, we're gonna dig into this plate, keep the conversation going. More Essence Live coming up next. What's going on everybody, its Pooch Hall and I'm in the. Steam room What's the last sexy thing you dreamed about? Strawberries and chocolate by the pool, baby oil What's the best compliment you've ever received from a woman? [LAUGH] I like your **** [BLANK_AUDIO] What's the sexiest part of a woman's body? I'm a boob guy, because I don't have them. What's your favorite type of foreplay? I like my ear lobes nibbled on. I do a little nibbling myself I don't know I like boobs. They have to be taken care of. What's the best song to make love to? Wake Up, wake up, wake up, wake up let's make love tonight. Whoa, sorry. I'm excited. What's something sexy you would whisper into a woman's ear? I love the way your skin feels. Where's the craziest place you've ever made love? Cemetery. [BLANK_AUDIO] I can't wait to do it on a plane. Lights on or lights off? Lights on. Sexy night in or fun night out? I'll do the fun night out, because when we're done we're coming back in to do a sexy night in. [MUSIC] Welcome back to Essence Live's Kitchen Table Talk. I'm your host Dana Blair. This has been such a good conversation today, good food from our boy Chef Julio, good drink, good people, some of you all. [LAUGH] We're gonna talk about everything from S-E-X today from keeping it spicy in the bedroom to one night stands with my special guest. Marketing consultant and journalist, Mr. Mac. The Breakfast Club's Angela Yi. SI Wire's Tony Anderson. And author and journalist Demetria L Doiley. Now before we go, I have. Question for each and every one of you. I hope you're ready, I want you to be honest. What's been your most embarrassing sexual moment? And whoever wants to jump in first can jump in first. Tony looks like he's not gonna claim it. [LAUGH] Smells. What? Smells. You smelled? No, she did. That's embarrassing. And what did you do? I fell off the bed. What do you mean you fell off, what? I jumped back. It was like a hot can of get back and it just exploded. It was a hot can of get back. And I stumbled off. I got caught on the blanket. I fell off the bed. I halfway dislocated my shoulder. Wow. Like this all- That smell was really powerful. Bro. Did you or did you not have sex with her? No. Abandon ship. No. How did you get out of it though? How did you get out? Did you say like- Mostly running. A lot of running. But what did you say to her before you- Not a damn thing. You just left? Well, what I'm sure she heard was Jesus. And anything else that I'm not sure. You didn't want to let her know something might be wrong? Listen you know damn well. I don't believe that you left that quickly. But how did you get out of the house, the room? He dove into the situation. I don't know what fellas ya'll be dealing with. I don't know what you're insinuating, but I'm just saying, I don't believe that you- When it's time to abandon ship, a brother abandon ship. I got the hell out of Dodge, that's all I'm saying. Angela, what's yours? Let me see, I'm trying to think. That many? [LAUGH] Yeah. Like a lot of embarrassing things, like I've farted during sex, that was embarrassing. A queef or a fart? A fart. [CROSSTALK] I had a lot of passed No. [INAUDIBLE] [LAUGH] What else have I done? There was one time that I was drunk and I had sex and I couldn't remember if I took. I woke up the next day and I didn't know if I had taken my tampon out because I had my period. I didn't know what happened. So I ended up having to go to the doctor because I wasn't sure. What was going on. Yeah she was like there's nothing in. Must have taken it out. Right. And that is the main [INAUDIBLE]. So that was a little embarrassing. But I can laugh about it. I don't know if that's embarrassing. [CROSSTALK] Don't you tampon shame me. Yeah, don't tampon shame her. [CROSSTALK] Like my brother to the left, I had to abort a mission. A young lady had a very nice. Beautiful body. I bet you had an abortion. No. [CROSSTALK] You though. I forgot a girl's name. In the middle of sex? immediately after. That's when you use [INAUDIBLE]. What did you say? I didn't know what to say. She was like, say my name. And I was like. Wow. And we're done. [CROSSTALK] J Lo, bang bang. And kept it moving. [CROSSTALK] I was in the club. Her club. Not her club. All right. [CROSSTALK] I was, okay. Figuratively speaking. He said the club [CROSSTALK]. Then I used the [INAUDIBLE]. I shot on the back then. The condom came off and got lost and he had to dig it out. Yeah. Yes. Yeah but it was- We grown. It was like our first time. [INAUDIBLE] flashlight. No it's like I'm like legs and he's down there trying to. Have you had anybody walk in on them and if so who? My roommate in college. It was good too like add it, add it, we were fighting cuz you know room mates, whatever, but she opened the door and just came in and went to her side and got whatever off the bed And we just kept going. What if he'd been like, girl come in here and jump in. [SOUND] [APPLAUSE] [LAUGH] Taxi. No, too much. Too much. Too much. I caught a roommate spanking it to me one time. I was... To you? Not to me. To me and a young lady. Wow. We was in it. Listen. [LAUGH] Clarify. Clarify. That will be your first story. We was having sex, but it wasn't embarrassing. Me, I was going to work and he was turned over and I just saw the cover right, and I'm looking and I just see the sheet going. But I just seen the sheet going up and I said wait a second. Then I figured out what was going on. At first I was confused, I thought he was gonna embarrass the young lady. She didn't notice it, I noticed it, kept going pretended it didn't happen. Were you like I gotta show out for Come a man so he can finish. [LAUGH] [CROSSTALK] I always put my leg up. I don't need any extra motivation. My God, [CROSSTALK] My God. My God. I wanna thank each and everyone [UNKNOWN], Angel, Tony, even you Tony and [UNKNOWN] for stopping by and for being here. And thank you to all of us, all of you out there, excuse me, who joined us live streaming [UNKNOWN] and on Facebook live. I also wanna thank the EMPOWER COCKTAIL COMPANY for providing today's tasty sweet potato [UNKNOWN]. Al of us and of course chef Julio you slayed it, these sliders, the tofu, everything, is absolutely delicious. I'm your host Dana Blair and I'll see you next week. [LAUGH] [MUSIC]