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Ask An Expert: How To Be A 'Sacred Bombshell’ With Abiola Abrams

ESSENCE Festival Empower U coach Abiola Abrams shares flirting tips you can use.

SHOW TRANSCRIPT

[MUSIC]. Hi Essence.com readers. I'm excited because today I'm here with Abiola Abrams. You know her as our Intimacy Intervention columnist. And, today we finally have her here in our studio. And, we're so excited, because she's not only here to give you some amazing advice about flirting and having fun while dating, but she's also here to talk about her new book, The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love. So, we're really excited. Hi Abiloa. Hello, how are you Bombshell Charlie? You look luscious and gorgeous. Thank you. Over there in that red orange dress. Thank you so much. I see we're color coordinated today. We are color coordinated, absolutely. And, incidentally Charlie, we're wearing the perfect colors to talk about flirting. And we'll get into that later. Absolutely. So, let's jump right into that. Yes. Because red is a really powerful Yes. Color when it comes to flirting, right? Yes it is. That, you know, I try to tell women that if you were trying to, you know, go out and attract men, the clothes that turn us on, as girls. You know, what looks cute to your girlfriend is different than the idea of what men have that looks attractive to them. Absolutely. You know, we tend to like, you see, I like jangles and jingly things. [LAUGH] I'm Caribbean, I'm like, you know. Yeah. Woo-hoo. We like to have fun with it. Yes. Lot's of fun. Men, they are, are beautiful but simple creatures and they like it, they like it simple. And, so rather than all the crazy patterns and the things that we tend to love, or the crazy jewelry. Keep it very simple. One, like a red you know,. Like this. Hot red dress. Yes. To the point. Yes. That studies actually show that men react more to a woman wearing red than any other color. Red is it the color? No, it doesn't have to be a dress. Okay, good. It could be a red blazer. So, we have no [CROSSTALK]. We have no blazer. Exactly. [LAUGH] It could be a blouse. Whatever feels good, whatever feels good to you. Okay. That's what's most important. So, what are some other, like, unknown secrets. Little known secrets. Yes, yes yes. For flirting that maybe women can jot down? So, another like little known secret other than you know, wearing red. Mm-hm. Now, this is kind of an obvious one. Okay. You know, we tend to, if, if, if you're a single you tend to grab all your single girlfriends. And you go out. And you wanna, now you're this Right. Wall of women, you know, that's there. [INAUDIBLE] Yes. No, that's terrifying to a man. Is it the numbers? It's the numbers. Okay. It's this wall of women, and then you know. Sometimes the only men who are courageous enough to come and penetrate, no pun intended, this wall, tend to be the jerk. Right. You know. [LAUGH] [INAUDIBLE] Yeah. Cuz otherwise you're looking at four or five women [CROSSTALK] out at a bar or restaurant. You don't want to embarrass yourself [CROSSTALK] You want to embarrass yourself and, men are human too, ladies. They have feelings too. [CROSSTALK] shy as we are. Yeah, the best person that they want to grab if they're going out and hoping to meet someone is you because you know why? Why? Because you are married, my dear [LAUGH] so you are not in competition, as fabulous and gorgeous as you are. [LAUGH] I'm easy. [CROSSTALK]. You are a ring woman. The perfect ring woman. Yes. I've already been using that before. I'm okay with it. I can own that. Your right. Because the ring, you know. You see the ring, it's there. Yes. I'm faith. Yes. Okay, you know, see faith. And, also I wanted to say that like if your on your on your way to the bathroom, or your walking by, even if your with a group. Yeah. Try to find a moment where you get, like, you own time to shine. Your own moment. Where he can be, you can make eye contact, Yes! He can get you alone, is that important? Yes! That's very important. You know, the eye contact, huge, huge, huge. Okay. Having that moment alone, huge. Okay. And, smiling!