I have had it both ways: He makes more or I make more $$. I earn 6-figures. My man makes about 1/4 of what I earn. I am divorced with 2 kids = I have debt. He is never married and no kids = he has zero debt and more 'disposable' cash. We don't live together, we date. He pays mostly. Money is not an issue for us (yet) because I don't look to him for financial support, nor does he look to me for financial support. He keeps my car detailed, lawn kept, garage clean, carpets shampooed, etc. WE go bowling, movie nites, walks in parks, count stars, watch sports, etc. He is my friend and my partner and helpmate. He is a man and needs no cash to establish that. He is a proud black man who makes less than me. We do just fine - knock on wood. My men with money were so afraid to spend a dime on anything and COULDN'T fix or help me with anything. Hmmmm...

What many men fail to realize, an independent women would prefer a self sufficient man to compliment her. While they don't "Need" a man to complete them, like anyone they appreciate the companionship. In any relationship, both mates should essentially be complimentary for one another. As couples progress in their relationships, there are questions that shouldn't be left unanswered. "What does my mate bring to the table?" It's not all about finances, yet they do play an integral role in ANY relationship. Tangible assets hold little value and with time will diminish completely. It's the intangible assets, that carry the most weight! Ladies, what good is a man who bares a closet full of clothes, yet not enough financial collateral to bail him out of any financial bind in the event of job loss. Too often, I've seen so many people "live for the moment". What about the future?

Money is the root of all evil. I'm in the middle of a divorce due to money situations. I truly agree with recognizing spending habits prior to getting married and sharing the same financial expectations. At the end of the day although it's about love and love don't cost a thing. Love don't get the bills paid.

I normally don't get into name calling, but Dawn you are really posting idiotic comments.

Anonymous has some valid points.

If you are married be thankful. If you have a good marriage with a good man be greatful. The complaining I hear is just finding something to complain about. We black women need to step up to the plate if your husband's not making more, he probably was doing that before you got married. I find a lot of women are not realistic when it comes to marriage and men. Most of the men you women are complaining about was the way you probably met him. So let's start looking in the mirror. A marriage is like a corporation..we want it to stand prosper and grow. There are CEOs and workers, if you can hold it down, hold it down..help the marriage instead of taking it down. Be happy with your life, it's your embrace it.

I admire women who are posting here who are honest about how making more money makes them feel like the man in the relationship. My hope is that you women encourage your men to be men. A man's responsibility is to provide and protect his family. Make sure he knows that and you support him being the man(leadership). It is not about who makes what, but that the roles in your marriages are clearly define.

Well my Ex-Girlfriend emailed me this post thus the reason were not together right now because finance ruled our relationship.For the first time I've found out that the saying 'Love don't cost a thing" isn't realistic. I wanted to marry this woman from the first time that I saw her not knowing that she was making 6figures at 28yrs old no children has her own home & luxury vehicle,which is impressive however not further enhancing my intrest in this woman for what she has or don't have.Currently I am currently unemployed do to a layoff from Comcast being in Marketing was ok income I thought,no to come find out that my girlfriend said that I would have had to have more that 1 job to compensate for her earnings so that i can pay the morgage and she pays the bills !She shops everyday now @ Norstroms,NeimanMarcus,Akira spending money that she could be saving to make it easier and not that stressful on our relationship..everyday rather that Good Morning Baby it's DID YOU FIND A JOB YET ! We Live less than 5 minutes away from each other but our relationship feels like were 5000 miles away from each other.. Kendi! email your feedback to this post

Sometime we women want the world and we want this imaginary man that we've dreamed of since we were little girls. If you have a man that works,treats you right, and all the bills are paid, what's the problem. Sometimes we women get into the complaining mode and just want to find something to complain about. Men have made more for days and didn't treat women bad because the made less. Black women lose out on a lot good man because they feel he should be making more. If you are supportive, then help him with his dreams, or help him realize he is dreaming. If you married it's a team, not I make more than you so you less than me. Love you mate and be happy you have one.

i make twice what my husband makes and it leaves me feeling like the male instead of the female in the relationship. i work extra jobs to accomodate the lifestyle i want to live. I feel like yes he goes to work everyday but its not enough. i feel like if i can work and go get extra so can he. if i have to pay most of the bills and do half of the housework, what do i need him for. i want a man, not a room mate. i love him but i think about this constantly. i m not even a materalistic person but i do like go on trips and shop which i can t do cause i carry most of the load. this is making me have role confussion, and resent him. i do sense a little jealousy from him and i feel like he tries to control me financially. i find myself hiding money so he won t spend it all. how can a man try to be controlling over money and is not the bread winner. futhermore i don t think some black men now how to be providers. he looks to me to solve finacial situations but wants to be the man in the relationship. i m sick of it and scared this might end our marriage. i dont think some of the people posting are married. my advice to women is dont date or marry a man that makes less money because it is a recipe for disaster.

It is not about who makes more money, it is about the attitude when it comes to money. If the woman makes $75,000 a year and had $150,000 in debt but the spouse on the other makes $40,000 a year and has no debt and only household expenses who do you think is going to have more money in the bank and in their pocket. I have no problem with making more money than man and allowing him to be man.

To anoynmous: Go see an attorney ASAP because the writing is clearly on the wall.

My husband and I both have a college degree and we both bring home the same amount of money but we are polar opposites when it comes to finances. So it really does not matter who is more educated or who makes the most money, it depends on how you were raised. My mother raised me with the idea that if you owe someone you pay them and you always put a little back. My husband on the other hand was raised with the idea that as soon as you get spend it and IF you have any left over you can pay your bills...if you choose to. So, it comes as no surprise that most of our problems are based on money issues and we are on the verge of divorce. For anyone who is single and reading this...you need to look at your boyfriend's or girlfriend's spending habits and really know how they feel about saving money and make sure it is line with your ideas and spending habits before you marry that person. I wish had done that before I got married...I would have saved myself a lot of grief in the end!!!

To anonymous: LOL, you are a young, black, married woman....now i know why you are so naive and immature!!!!!!!!!LOL

To anonymous: LOL, you are a young, black married woman. now, i know why you are so naive and immature. I hope you have a PRE-NUP in yo mix.....cause you could be left destitute if you ever get divorced. Check yo finances.......girl LOL

My black women peep this: In this day in age, love is always more important; however, money is the only thing that PAYS THE BILLS. A BLACK WOMAN with no money management skills is like an old car with no tires, engine, and steering wheel; you ain't goin nowhere, no matter how much love you have with someone. Of course love is more important, but you better have your purse strings in cheek if you want to keep both your love and sanity.