Last fall, I was a keynote speaker on “Sacred Punany Power and Self-Esteem” at Chicago Ideas Week. It was a rousing crowd, but afterward a woman named Liz came up to me, practically yelling. “I follow your YouTube and Instagram, she shouted, but I disagree when you talk about the Law of Attraction. You say that most of us are creating by default. Well, I keep attracting crappy relationships that I would never create on purpose, what should I do?” Liz, I’ve got your back, sis. It’s time to go deeper on a metaphysical level.
Let’s talk about the law of attraction and our love lives with LOA Expert, Lorna Sophia Levy.
Lorna Sophia Levy is a Minister in the Centers for Spiritual Living, a worldwide New Thought organization. She teaches metaphysics and spirituality online. Although she’s been a minister for just 5 years, she has studied the law of attraction for over 30 years. She also has an MBA from Wharton and has worked professionally with Fortune 100 organizations as a Management Consultant in the area of technology development.
Lorna, break it down for us. How do you define the law of attraction?
Law of attraction is the concept that our thoughts create our reality. It is as ancient as the Upanishads, Indian holy books from 3,000 years B.C.; to the Buddha, who said, “All that you are arises from your thoughts,” to Jesus, who said, “It is done unto you as you believe,” and paraphrasing, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move a mountain.”
Quantum mechanics is now finding that “the observer effect” creates the way clouds of probabilities become matter. They seem to become what we expect them to become! Physicists are also telling us the world appears to be one big mind of consciousness, rather than matter.
What about someone like Liz (above) who says, I would never create this horrible breakup or being cheated on or lied to? Can you explain to readers how are we creating by default in our relationships?
Law of attraction is a law of nature, like gravity is a law of nature. That means its working all the time – bringing you good and bad stuff, according to your thoughts and beliefs and other inner emotions that we are mostly unaware of. If this person was my client, and many of my clients have said this to me, I would ask a lot of questions. I would ask her about self worth.
I would ask her what she really believes about relationships. What does she really believe about men? (All men are dogs? That belief won’t bring you one who isn’t.) What was her parents’ relationship like? What do her girlfriends think about relationships – what kinds of experiences are they having and what are they saying - because we are greatly influenced by the people we hang with.
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I would ask her what messages she gets from the TV shows she watches about relationships. I would ask what experiences from the past is she or he still holding on to? Where has she not forgiven someone who hurt her in the past? And we would drill down really deeply to identify the thoughts and beliefs she has that created this scenario. Then we would do some processes to change those beliefs to more supportive beliefs.
And of course, there’s the opportunity for relationship counseling, too, where we would talk about what actions she took that may have contributed to the acrimony.
Okay, Lorna. Let’s get real. What can women do who feel like they keep attracting the same exact partner over and over again in different pants?
OMG! This was happening to me for years and it was in my search for answers that I really got to understand law of attraction more deeply. For 20 years, each of my boyfriends was just like the last – verbally abusive, didn’t listen to me or respect me, and ignored me and cheated on me. I talked to every ‘spiritual’ teacher I could find, and many of them told me to look at where I was abusive, or where I exhibited the same behavior.
Well, I turned myself inside out trying to find abuse or cruelty in me, and finally I took a stand and said, “It isn’t in me; I don’t treat people like that!” And those who didn’t understand law of attraction told me I wasn’t looking hard enough or I wasn’t being honest.
But then one teacher asked me what did I believe about relationships? And what did I expect in a relationship? And what did I think I deserved in a relationship? And the light bulb went on! I believed all men were abusive. I expected to be treated badly. I had almost no self-esteem, and I thought all men cheated – it was just something women had to put up with.
No wonder I was getting the same man with a different face all the time! I could only attract men who matched the vibration I was putting out. And when I changed all that – when I got clear on my value and my values – everything changed and I met a millionaire who treated me wonderfully.
Wonderfully explained. How can we use the law of attraction to fix an existing relationship?
One of my clients came into our meeting one day, with a big smile, and said, “I have a new husband!” I had just seen her two weeks before and I knew she wasn’t divorcing, although she was unhappy. So I asked, “What’s up?” And she explained that she had taken my suggestion to begin to appreciate her husband. She thought about what she loved about him, she appreciated the little things he did and she remembered why she married him. She changed her vibration to see him as someone she loved rather than someone who annoyed her. As she focused on those things, those became the things she saw the most in him. The way to fix a relationship is to focus on feeling the feelings we want to have in that relationship. Then we change our expectation and our point of attraction.
Beautiful! So how do you respond to people who say that the law of attraction doesn’t work for them?
I’m not surprised. Law of attraction doesn’t work for anyone very often the way it’s usually taught. A lot of law of attraction teachers will tell you, “Just do this one thing, and you will have everything you want.” That just doesn’t work.
Law of attraction is simple, but not easy. It is nuanced and subtle. It requires a person to look deeply inside themselves and to be willing to change. We create from what I call our 7 inner emotions – 4 of these are our thoughts, feelings, attitudes and beliefs, and often these are mostly unconscious. It is when we change these that our lives begin to change and our desires and dreams come to us.
Thank you, Lorna. I know that our readers will want more. How can people learn more about your work and the law of attraction?
It’s so important to me that people really learn to take their power back and use their spirituality the way we are meant to. We are meant to create lives of happiness and prosperity for ourselves, so we can give and help others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill yours so we can all make the world a better place.
I have a free report for those who want to really go deeper. It describes the most effective law of attraction process I know, and it’s really easy to do. It’s available here: AdvancedLOA.com/Beach. I also work with clients one on one and I offer group coaching programs, too. Please feel free to email me at: Lorna (at) AdvancedLOA.com if there is any way I can help you.
Abiola Abrams is the author of the award-winning Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love, Manifest Your Miracles meditation album and African Goddess Affirmation Cards. The popular lifestyle guru is also the founder of the Sacred Bombshell Self-Care Kits, blog, web TV show, and online academy at SacredBombshell.com. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week's hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.