Maxwell Billieon, co-author of the new book Death of the Cheating Man, is a reformed cheater who wants to help you avoid dating the kind of guy he used to be. He reveals eight signs your man might be cheating and some tips on how to safeguard your relationship against cheating.
Little things like the ability to answer your man’s cell phone instantly becomes big when you’re denied access to them. If your man isn’t providing you with complete access to their life then something may be wrong behind the scenes.
Calls From the Bathroom
Cheaters like to call from bathrooms because it disguises the noise from the room or the person they are actually around. If they are in a place they shouldn’t be or with someone that they shouldn’t be with, then the bathroom is the perfect should barrier to shield suspicion.
He's Hiding You
A proud and faithful person wants to be seen with you. If your man isn’t taking you around their normal hangouts, then there could be something going on within the city limits.
Friends and Family
Every faithful person wants their friends and family to know their mate. It’s “pride of ownership,” so to speak. If you don’t know your man’s friends or family after you’ve gotten serious, there may be someone else who does.
Is your man leaving you at odd hours? Evaluate the situation and unless they can prove they’re really working the graveyard shift, you should ask questions.
Social Network Secrecy
Again, successful relationships are built on a healthy amount of access and that includes sharing the passwords to social network accounts and emails. If there is nothing to hide, then there is everything to gain.
Texting and Sexting
Receiving or sending sexual or provocative messages via text is a sign many don’t look for. Even incoming photos from other people via SMS messages is often a sign that your man may be crossing the line.
But You Say She's Just a Friend
We can’t just throw our friends to the side when we enter into a monogamous relationship. However, our individual friends must become friends of the relationship, especially those of the opposite sex. If your man is keeping friends to the side, then there may be more than just a friendship there.
Tip #1: Ask the Real Question Up Front
Has he learned how not to cheat? ‘Put it on Front Street,’ I always say. So many people never get to the real questions. Why? This is your emotional and mental health we’re talking about. You should put that up front and the way you do that is by communicating your needs and getting your man or potential mate to do the same. As infidelity is the number one cause of divorce in relationship, learning if your man has the ability to be faithful should be your first concern. So go ahead and ask them, “Have you ever learned how not to cheat?” If this is the right person for you, they won’t be afraid to answer.
Tip #2: Don't Choose Pockets Over Pedigree
In this day and age, financial security is hugely important to us as individuals as well as our relationships. However, mental security is essential to make any relationship go the distance. Choosing a mate that makes a substantial income may seem like security, but it isn’t necessarily always so. The true benefit to your security across the board comes by choosing a man that has a pedigree built on integrity, character and wisdom. Those assets will ensure that they make the right decisions throughout the relationship, which inevitably lead to financial gain, as well as mental and emotional security. Remember, you have a choice; making the choice to choose a man on how they are made, instead of how much they make is a wise choice.
Tip #3: Focus On Keeping Him Committed
Understand that there is nothing you can do to “keep someone faithful." But you can help keep them committed. Relationships often fall short due to a loss of commitment. Even a faithful man may loose his desire to stay committed to the relationship, as there is a big difference between being faithful and being committed. Being faithful means staying dedicated to our agreement; being committed means staying dedicated to our future. A committed man won’t stray, as they are invested in the future of the relationship and that takes precedence over everything else, including momentary satisfactions. So, if you want to keep your man faithful, focus on keeping them committed to the future.
Tip #4: Communication Is Key
Lastly, developing a great line of communication and trust in a relationship in the modern era requires us to forgo judgment of our man’s individual desires, instincts and experiences. Most infidelity issues that surround failed relationships can be avoided by open and honest communication with the acceptance that the consequences of our actions will decide our success. As we work together to form our own exclusive and unique bonds of monogamy, utilizing the principle of consequence as our guide will aide in the continued strength of a faithful and committed union.