A woman’s breasts are often the headquarters of her pleasure zone during foreplay. International sexologist and AstroGlide Sexual Health and Wellness Advisor Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright says the same can be said for your guy too. “People typically overlook the fact that many men have sensitive nipples too, some more so than some females,” says Fulbright. “To find out if this is a make-me-moan, sensitive zone for him, touch or kiss his nipples in ways it would feel good to have him do the same to you. Really take your time and ask him to let you know what feels good or what he’d like more (or less) of.”
Everyone loves a sexy surprise. “Do something outside of your comfort zone that will get him hot,” suggests Fulbright. “Lovers who know each other well also know each other’s boundaries. So challenge yourself—and heighten the moment—by pushing the envelope with something out of character for you. This may be letting him know that you’re going commando at a formal event, like going to a gala. He’ll get hot over the personal, but sexy, risk you’re taking in the name of eroticism.”
If you aren’t already acting out your fantasies together, you should be. Need a script? Fulbright has a short play anyone can star in whether you’re together or apart: “Pretend that you’re a phone sex operator the next time you chat on the phone. Detail what you’re doing to him—the who, what, where, when—before asking him what he’d like for you to do next. Taking on a character role will have him seeing you in a delightfully new way!”
Who says lube can only be used one way? Think again, says Fulbright. “Use lube where you haven’t thought to before,” she suggests. “People often save lubricant for genital play, not realizing that just a couple of drops can go a long way in turning on erogenous zones found all over the body. Stimulate any of his hot spots, for a greater reaction, with the lube making for smoother, better technique.”
Too tired for sex after a long day’s work? There’s still plenty of fun to be had in the morning. “Wake him up for sex,” Fulbright says. “He’ll wonder if he’s dreaming as you kiss him awake for a nocturnal shag. Get fresher as he starts to grasp what’s going on, telling him to relax as you do all of the work.”
Here’s another role for him to play. Give him permission to be your peeping tom. “Voyeurism can be a huge turn on for a couple when it’s consensual,” says Fulbright. “So, encourage him to get a sneak peak the next time you shower and change, taking your time to soap yourself up, dry yourself off, lather yourself with lotion…” He’s gonna love the view.