“Some Black women are looking for more flash than class. It is not how a man looks but how he treats you and handles his responsibilities that matters. Ask yourself: How does he interact with his family? Does he pay his traffic tickets? Is he reliable? —Dr. Paulette D. Murphy, New York City psychologist and dating coach
After meeting Allante Samuels in high school, Ashley Starks realized she had a lot to learn about love. “Growing up as an only child, it was always about me,” she says. “But in a relationship, it’s a partnership.” Ashley had to adjust to considering someone else’s feelings and schedule to strengthen their four-year relationship.
We spotted this couple while they enjoyed an adventurous day that included hanging in downtown Detroit and listening to an impromptu outdoor karaoke set. “We love spending time together and indulge each others’ interest,” Andrea Phillpotts says. “He even watches the ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ with me.”
“Definitely surround yourself with un-hater friends. Find friends that may be in situations that you like such as a married friend. Sometimes when you surround yourself around people who are in the same situation, it makes you stay in that situation.” —Jamie Anderson, Atlanta bridal consultant
“Just because a guy might be going through financial difficulty doesn’t mean he’s always going to be like that. Give him the chance for you all to have something successful. If a guy really likes a woman and she doesn’t have a great job, he can still enjoy being with her. “—Abram Pitts, Detroit barber
“Just like in the real world, meeting people online should be fun, not a chore. Even if you’re looking for Mr. Right, don’t fixate on it. Mix it up a little and spend some time chatting with a range of people, even as friends. And a new friend might be the one to introduce you to your soul mate. And friendly people are always more attractive! —Louise Thompson, relationship expert at badoo.com
“As African-American women, many of us have been unfairly labeled as “angry black women.” When a woman has been worn down by bad dates and relationships it becomes harder to escape this label. Let go and smile.” —Jasmine Diaz, matchmaker for Shawn Mackenzi Agency
“Sometimes even the best online flirtation and conversation can fizzle once you actually meet someone in real life. There’s no accounting for physical chemistry! When you met someone online and have exchanged a couple good emails/chats, then take the plunge and suggest meeting up in person.”
—Louise Thompson, relationship expert at badoo.com
“First dates can be awkward, but they don’t have to be. I often suggest that singles partake in activity dates rather than your standard dinner and a movie. Try riding bikes, hiking, indoor sky diving, boating or wine tasting. Dates like this encourage conversation and serves as an ice breaker.” —Jasmine Diaz, matchmaker for Shawn Mackenzi Agency
“On the early dates, you don’t have to tell him everything about you and or your past because you are still getting to know that person. However, you have to be very vocal about what your wants are and what you’re looking for in a person.” —Akua Scott , Miami event planner
“Ladies, clean up your messes before you start with a new guy. One of my clients met a woman in college. They had a nice first date and when he took her home, her ex-boyfriend of five months jumped out and started fighting them. He had to take out a protection order.” —Abram Pitts, Detroit barber