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Dionne Turner’s* boss has insulted her, threatened to write her up, and even kicked her chair. “Although I knew that my performance evaluation was satisfactory, he made me think I could lose my job,” explains the customer service assistant from Columbus, Ohio. Repeated verbal abuse, sabotage, and offensive behavior that is humiliating and intimidating signal bullying, says the Workplace Bullying Institute (bullyinginstitute.org).
“Black women are often treated as ‘less than’ or receive strong signals of low expectations,” says Janet Crenshaw Smith, cofounder and president of Ivy Planning Group, LLC, a consulting and training company in Rockville, Maryland, that specializes in diversity and change management. Before the abuse gets serious, follow these tips for dealing with and stopping the behavior.
DEFINE THE PROBLEM
Other than the obvious, says Joel H. Neuman, director of the Center for Applied Management at the State University of New York at New Paltz, your manager’s subtle tactics can entail excluding you from work-related social gatherings, giving you the silent treatment, consistently failing to respond to your phone calls or e-mails, and taking credit for your work or ideas. “If it’s indeed bullying, you’ll see a pattern start to develop,” says Loraleigh Keashly, academic director of the Dispute Resolution master’s program at Wayne State University in Detroit.
DEMAND RESPECT
Training others to respect you must start early on in the work relationship. If you don’t act immediately, you could miss the opportunity. Keashly gives this example: “If the same person cuts you off for the third time in a meeting, talk to the person afterward and say something like, ‘During the meeting you talked over me, so I lost my train of thought. I’d really appreciate it if you would be aware of that and not do it in the future.’ ”
DEVELOP SUPPORT
Become involved with committees, affinity groups or on-site programs. Smith says that being part of a cohesive employee network can help you diffuse some of the offender’s power. According to Keashly, intimidation thrives in an atmosphere in which employees silently witness the abuse of colleagues or conceal their own. Try subtly reaching out to your coworkers who may have experienced or observed similar mistreatment and see how others handle the behavior. But don’t assume everyone will take your side.
RESEARCH AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING
From the first time you are bullied, take notes with the date, time and details of each incident. Research your company’s harassment and violence policies to determine whether the manager is in violation. Expose the expense to the firm in terms of morale and productivity. Gary Namie, director of the Workplace Bullying Institute, suggests gathering data about the economic impact the bully has had on the employer, such as the cost of turnover rates. Build the business case—not the emotional case—and be prepared to present it to a top executive, Namie says.
DEFEND YOURSELF
Meet with your human resources representative (keeping in mind that she is not an independent party), your employee union or an equal employment opportunity office for solutions. If there is no improvement, consult an independent labor attorney (not the company’s attorney) who can determine whether, say, discrimination is a factor in the harassment. If it is, a demand letter can be given to your employer asking the company to honor resolutions in lieu of litigation.
Thirteen states have introduced antibullying bills since 2003. While there is no legislation that prohibits bullying, some lawsuits have connected the behavior with other violations such as sexual harassment and racial, disability and age discrimination, all of which can harm a person’s health and mental state.
If you have exhausted these methods, or if your safety and health—mental or physical—are compromised, it may be time to move on to your next job. Then you will at least have the peace of knowing you stood up for yourself in a professional manner.
*Name has been changed.
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