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Other comments on this article.
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Being healthy is what is most important. I read a book by Dr. Ted Broer. He shared that he was a football player in college and fit (so he thought); but one day he drove back to school from visiting his family and had a heart attack on the way. I had share this to inform ALL that sicknesss is NOT prejudice. Diabetes, heart attacks can happen to anyone regardless of size. Its not how much in most cases, but WHAT YOUR EATING and what time. So, lets ALL get healthy together?. *smiling*
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-TammyL- TN
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Perception is about yourself, self love and the message that you send to others. Respect yourself regardless of size, full figured or not. It is about self assurance, self repsect. Once you have self love everything will come your way including the men. Honesty is the best. Peace Deborah J
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-Anonymous
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Full figured is just a term to mean overweight, and out of shape. Black women need to stop with all the big boned, full figured, and other garbage. Our race is filled with obesity, diabetes, hypertension, high blood pressure, etc. You aint got to be a size two to be sexy, if you wear your weight well, and lose a few pounds get active, and watch your eating, you will look better and feel better than ever.
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-fitter by the day
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Hallelujah! This is so refreshing to read, and a blessing to know that there are in fact blessed, sincere, genuiene, first-class, educated, spiritual, black men out there! And I will keep my faith, hope, and love alive, never giving up on them. Thank you Essence for sharing this with us. :o)
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-Lisa
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I ask myself everytimeI go out to the mall, beach, and work. What is wrong with me am I attractive when I walk by some men. I truly don't understand why men think only the slim woman are the only beautiful person on this earth, as for a full figure womanI truly believe that I am beautful like a slimmer young lady. It would be nice some of our African American Men would give us Full Figure woman an Chance before they push us off like trash.
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-Pebbles
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-----blackgirlsconnect.com----- ? It is really a funny and interesting place to date attractive girls or hot guys. Many hottie videos and photos at this site, you can enjoy latest interesting videos or talk about hot topic with other friends. I've met many thoughtful singles who were trying to find true love.
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-Yeah
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Ideals are the principles by which you conduct your life. When a man or woman establishes a clear code of behavior, one that is reasonable and enhancing of others only then will we be truly cherished. We can't set the bar higher or lower for those we want in our lives than we can clear. The state of male/female relationships in the Black community is ample proof that there is something clearly wrong in how we have chosen to relate. Its something within us not outside and we need to be able or want toaddress it.
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-Rastaman
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Maybe then, might a man find her attractive and desiring when he can see his path to self-actualization.
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-Not intimidated
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would put it, our self-actualization. What successful single women should learn is to approach/signal a man that what she needs him to provide or be responsible for her is not the traditional values, but emotional fulfillment. Communicate that he can also be as much of a man to and for you as he wants to be if he can provide profound joy and happiness in your life that she lacks. Let him know that you value this provision from him as much, if not more, than the traditional values. Maybe then, might a man find her attracti
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-Not intimidated
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being of his family. That is our essence, it's in our DNA no matter whether one thinks it's chauvinistic, old school, or too simple in scope. It's no different from women having their rightful traditional essence of a nurturer, nurturer of ever more deeper and profound emotionally fulfilling relationships with all that surrounds her (family, friends, coworkers, partner). For men, being a provider defines our sense of fullfillment, our sense of completeness, our sense of manhood, our sense of accomplishment...as Maslow wou
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-Not intimidated
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It's not intimidation...it's unattractiveness. Too many times we hear independent successful black single women claim that their success is intimidating to black men. The reason why black men seemingly "run away" from their successful "sistas" is because the sistas have succeeded in making themselves unattractive and undesireable, and don't know how to become attractive and desireable despite her success. From the beginning of time, the make-up of a man is to be a provider; a provider of the livelyhood, security, and well
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-Not intimidated
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im still waiting on the day men grow up. not to say that there aren't mature men out there but its so many immature ones that the good ones get overshadowed.
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-kells
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interesting
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-cindy
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why do men ask qusetions and demand answers?? But if you ask them the same questions, they plead the 5th?? please tell me!! argh!!
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-jonie b
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I've done some pretty dirty stuff in college should I profess this to my guy now?
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-Latrese A. K
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-Rastaman and Strong blk are dealing with philosophically ideals of manhood and being a good mate -spartacut, has bad english but knows what,wants. -Donnell, Its understandable to want us to believe you.But a mama's boy wants only mama. Aquarius Storm, your inspiring! -Steve, If she tells you her salary she's a sugar Mama or crazy. O boy, Ron can't get a home cooked meal and a clean house? Maybe your a big mouth to feed Black, Radical feminism didn't destroy our communication. BTW:hyphenated last names ar
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-Jalynn, Washington D.C
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Being a man is about living up to one's commitments, lover, family, friend, community. When I encounter a woman who cannot understand why maintaining my commitments are important and measures my feelings for her by pitting herself against my responsibilities. I see someone immature and disrespectful of me. I understand the games being played I just refuse to participate. Be for real and you will be surprised how easy most good men are to get along with.
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-Rastaman
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okay......,i will say somme things nice,iam the guy lakes women with good maniers,funny ,and resist to the bed ,i will offre gift evry session,i will satisfay her life,iam tired to wait,u can find me at the irish pub brogue in lake worth ,west palm beach,florida,ask the bartender for my name (borat the frenchy),i will love u , will give u my phne #and my moms # u will meet her in france
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-spartacut
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Okay.....I agree with all of them to an extent. I do believe that intimacy and sex is two different things. The problem is women, dont know how to diffrenciate the two. Because we women are so emotionally intune, when we find someone that interests us, "bam" there it goes, head over heels. and im not speaking on he behalf of all women but some because we all have played the fool. One thing that i can say that i have learned from men at the age of 22, was that no matter what, if a man doesnt have himself together mentally, sp
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-ce-ce
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In the past I confused sex for love. I felt if this guy is willing to be that intimate with me, he must love me. The person I lost my virginity to had feelings for me but was afraid to have a relationship with a black woman. What was he doing with me in the first place. Guys who play these games with women are in for trouble. Women need to stop getting hung up on these men. But all in all when you are in love you can really feel your heart breaking.
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-Bev Gee
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My acupuncturist left to take a teaching job and has a couple of guy friends who are also acupuncturists. I chose one of them while she is gone. This guy is gorgeous! I know he has a girlfriend but never talks about her. Even though he is suppose to be professional he held my hand tightly while taking my pulse one day. Now I like him even more but I'm afraid to cross that boundary. I gave him a bookmark with nice words on it. It basically said how wonderful and amazing he is. He loved it! We have also exchanged glance
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-Bev Gee
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In response to the comment, "No woman should hyphenate her last name. If you marry the man, you take on his name. Period. No hyphens please." You must understand that a GOOD NAME is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold. Before a man shares his name with a woman, he needs to make sure that his name is GOOD.
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-Anonymous
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To reply to a brother's comment, "We really hate it when you play hard to get. A lot of women won?t even approach guys." Women are not supposed to approach, pursue or initiate relationships with men, period! No! Never! Men were created to be leaders. If men can lead in any other areas of their lives, they why should dating, relationships/courtship, and marriage be any different?
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-Anonymous
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I dont neccesarily agree with the last mans outlook on men hating when women play hard to get because there are men that actually like the chase and happen to dislike it when a woman makes it easy. I say, wether you are man or woman we all dont think a like and we all have our own opinions and outlook on life. so to say "we" as men collectively hate it when women do that is not true for every man. He should've said I hate it.
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-Essence
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I am a woman and ltet me tell you what a want: a man who is good in the you know where...., a man with a career or atleast an objective, a caring man who can accept that I am a woman who comes wth a period (hormones) and children and occasionally I will have an attitude for no reason, and I want a man who know how to stop and smell the roses, I want a man who will not hit on me (unless he has a deathwish), and last but not least if his heart aint in it to let me know so that I can get on with it.
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-ohdrama0901
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Sex and Intimacy are two completely different things? So why when a woman meets a man, decides to persue him and lets him know what she is looking for at the moment is not a committment, why is she considered wrong in her actions? I believe a man and woman need to be honest with themselves before going out into the dating world.
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-Miss 'T'
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Whatever happened to getting to really know a person. Whatever happened to companionship and real friendship. Whatever happened to loving the one you are with. Shouldn't my success be yours if we are together. Shouldn't you be proud of my education and my success. When I look good so do you. I've heard it all: You are not thin enough for me. You are too goal oriented. You work to hard. You expect too much. Yes, I expect for a grown man to understand that life is a struggle and any accomplishment that either of us get shoul
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-val
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