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Other comments on this article.
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Deshawn, Grow up! Learn to deal with the curves balls that life throw you and stop blaming all women for the actions of one. You are 30 and acting like you're still in high school. Clearly you were hurt by that failed relatioship, go talk with a professional about those feelings and move forward with your life. From what you write it is clear to me that you desire to be in a committed relationship but you are paralized by the fear of failure. Remember, success is built on failure. Examine your actions in that old rela
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-Roy
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Dashawn, Grow the hell up! You are 30 years old and you have failed to deal with pain of a relationship from 9 years ago. I would recommed that you speak with a professional about your feelings. It sound to me that you are making excuses, success is built on failure. Learn from that failed relationship improve yourself and stop blaming all women for the action of one. Finally, please examine your behavior in that failed relationship, it is never just one person. Remember, the only cure for fear is action. Good luck.
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-Tony in DC
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I believe everything Deshawn speaks about is true. We women are in fact so in love with wanting to be in love that we rush into things not asking ourselves the real truth as to what we want, why we want it and who should we share it with. Therefore a man senses that urgency in us and we lose our power. Ladies slow down and question your motives?
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-Alaska
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Deshawn,In the beginning you know when you have that initial contact if this is a person you really want to persue. There are certain signs there that I believe we chooe to ignore.It maybe because of what that person look like that we choose to ignore other signs, and after awhile the sign we ignored now is in bold lights.Like myself Deshawn don't go looking for it it will happen and I believe you will just know when you meet her she is the right person for you.
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-Gina R
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I came by to read your article because i'm listening to you on Currie's show. After reading this article, I don't understand what was so many people upset about. Two weeks is not enough time to start askign where are we going (as if you're supposed to give them a title already) I think overall, women do want things to move really fast, esp if it's with a successful guy like yourself
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-Pantz
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...self be very happy together.
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-Stacy S
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Dashawn is right, many women are in a hurry. I think it's the state of the world, the hormones, many women are feeling intuitively that they are not getting younger,(I'm assuming he's talking to late 20 yr olds to early 30's)and world is changing rapidly...so much is goin' on ...it just seems like many people want to be in a family setting....my personal two cent advice to dashawn is....if he's not really taking them that serious leave 'em alone...and be by yourself....you obviously love yourself .....very much. You and your
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-Stacy S
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TLN,Md continued.... Relationships help us heal in areas that we need healing. Instead of allowing fear based thinking to rule your life, embrace what you have learned in all of this (good and bad), allow healing to take place and then move forward. We are all human which means that noone is perfect, as long as you are alive on earth, you will at some point be disappointed by someone. Just learn from life and keep it moving...
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-TLN, Md
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Deshawn, most often, we feel guilty about our past "failed" relationships. If we learn what the relationship was meant to teach us, then it was a success. Life circumstances and past experiences makes us look at situations in a certain ways, things may look different to others than it does to you based on their experiences.
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-TLN, Md
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Writing a book, containing your feelings based on acquainces. Shock zone. Have you decided the Look woman? Some attributes that you prefer? Then. Have any of your choice experiences been, women that say they fit your criteria? Why think of someone,without believing Love has no form or diction. That someone could be from any background and even more significant; a person similiar to you. We often get sidetracked in Love cause Love is unmistakable imaginings. Just when we want, we don't get. We truly can only make de
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-keyes
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I also agree with what someone said about men complaining that women want materialistic things, but they acquire materialistic things to attract women. I have always said that. Folks need to get to know each other with their clothes ON, and stop acting desperate for sex. Men are wired differently after being sexual. They have released themselves but yet when women get physical they feel "connected" which is a false sense of connection. Men can easily draw the line once they get what they want. So far as some women on here
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-denise
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Hi Deshawn. I am also tired of relationships. It seems to me that although I am spiritually capable of sustaining a relationship, they have never worked out. It seems that the majority of males just want to put on the boyfriend hat to keep access to the draws. I am tired of it. I am well faceted, intelligent, and educated but yet I seem to get emotionally frozen males who dont mind becoming unfrozen for sex. If people would stop approaching others with a "what you got for ME" attitude, the world would bea much better place.
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-denise
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Once again this is truly "typical thinking". Not trying to judge you but I can only comment on what I've just read. I don't believe it has anything to do with a woman being pushy( thats just another way of saying that it scares you off that she actually knows what she wants). Dashawn, you even said that you met someone who has alot of positive qualities but you pushed her away. And your fear could have caused you to miss out on someone destined.Sometimes we get in the way of our destiny, we try to control what God has for us
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-Sirena*
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Dashawn, i could see why 'titles' would scare you as it connotes an added responsibility to the relationship. People expect relationships to just flourish but what they forget is that it takes work and compromise which is hard work in itself. Until one is mentally ready and prepared to invest time and the emotional committment, there are no any favours being done by committing to the other person. Listen to your intuition and not the pressures around you and when its time you would know. In saying thatno one is perfect an
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Nicholina, New Zealand
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Hi Dashawn, Unfortunately I have begun to feel the same way. I'm a sbf, no children, 29 years old and I have a great job. I have decided that if I HAVE to date it will be as friends only. I will probably have a child with a college friend and if I don't get married that's okay. Titles seem to make people nervous and confused. Once they get nervous they make up ideas and give unsolicited advice and I disappear. You are not alone. I understand completely. I urge people to remember that People don't usuallychange and don't i
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-alfreda
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Deshawn, what a heavy heart you have. I feel you pain. As a now 38 year old, attractive business woman I find that in my situation I intimidate some men that I am attracted to and they pass me over because they don't take the time to see what a down to earth person I am. The relationships that I do get entwined in, always end on a sour note. I have not been a serious relationship in 6 years but I do have male friends who I just date from time to time to get out of the house. One thing I have not done is given up hope and
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-Angela P
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